A
male
age
30-35,
*hadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera
writes:Extremely long story, shortened down a bit more....I've moved on finally after so much trouble with the last women I have been around, but now, I met a Scottish girl from Scotland. She's about 3 1/2 years older than me (22 to be exact). She likes alot of the same things I do, we went to the movies, had lunch together, and she's already kissed me on the cheek, all within 3 weeks (yes, that was my first kiss). (detailed) :I met her in my Japanese Club, and I looked at her. I swear, it felt like love at first sight, but all we did for the next 3 mins was make eye contact, back and forth. Then our Japanese Club wanted us to introduce ourselves. I introduced myself, "Hi, etc etc, I am an artist, I have built my own videogame (which I have)" Subsequentially, interrupted by "How old are you, 20, 21?""19""Your not helping my brain any."Then after introducing ourselves, she came by, and sat right down next to me. In about 3 minutes of just observing my body language, she found out about 33.3% of who exactly I am, how I feel, that my family doesn't understand me, and that I like it when women play with my hair. I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime, and she said yes, even before I could finish my sentence. She also said "you're not use to getting yes' very often, are you," which is also true. She then asked to add me to her Facebook, and I replied yes. She ripped my laptop out of my hands, and logged into her account, via my computer. This is the big thing....When she logged on, and checked her statuses after adding me, I looked on her wall, and it said she is "engaged". I was thinking to myself "Dammit!" and after the Japanese club, she hugged me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was melting in her arms. She started to play with my hair, and twirling it about when she was hugging me. She let go, and we parted for that night. However, hope is not lost...(Sidenote: She's not psychic, just extremely evironmentally sensitive).We went to the movies for one day. I biked there, She was dropped off by her room-mate (NOT FIANCÉE) John. Went into the movie, and there was these austrialian people she was talking to, and she told them that "Her appartment lease expires on May 1st, as well as losing her job in may." I thought to myself, I want to save her, but should I? The film started. We saw an old Monty Python movie, and then after the movie, we held each other for about 2 minutes. I lost my bike lock keys, and I had to sit on her lap, because her room-mate's car was all cramped, and dirty. I about died laughing when she said "You have a nice 'ash'." I rode ontop of her lap, which I think was a combination of guilt, and something really cute.When I got home, I said goodnight to her, she kissed me, and I shyly kissed her back. From then, I knew I didn't want to lose her. I told myself "I'd do anything it takes to keep her happy, and safe. She's won me over." We hung out a bit more after this though.BIG DETAILS HERE TOO:A few nights later, she told me about how she and her fiancee met, and I quote:"i met him through uni, at a time when we were both seeing other peoplewe were friends at first, then through circumstances he broke off his relationshipand I did the same, about a week later he kissed me for the first timebut I wasn't ready for a relationship yet, so we stayed kind-of-friends-kind-of-dating from march til the first of julyand he asked me properly to be his girlfriend and I said yes, we broke up briefly after my grandma died and got back together maybe a couple of months after we split, and he proposed to me last august before i came over here and I accepted"It's been really on and off between them, she also said, and I quote:"Quite frankly in a nutshell I've been having doubts about the whole situationrather enjoying my freedom and living by myselfI'm fairly independent, and still fairly young, so the idea of getting tied down, it's still like, hmmm." So, the next 3 places we are going to is Ballroom Dancing, Karaoke, and Ice Skating. I'm hoping we will have enough time to do more things, but it's questionable. Also, it doesn't help her fiancee is leaving Scotland to check on her, here in USA. Both of us are not thrilled (but she doesn't know that I am not thrilled because I won't have as much time to hang out with her). I would like to have her in my heart, and let alone, to love her. I understand she doesn't want to belong to anyone, but I want her to at least know I love her, before I lose her.My 4 biggest problems are, #1, I'm having trouble flirting with her figure. She complains that she's too overweight, and where I come from, weight is not something that is a problem. Personality matter more to me. She also infrequently complains that she is too old for me, that I am a "kid" (according to Scottish culture). As long as she's on American Grounds, I am a Man, not a kid. What are some ways to flirt for her Age and weight if she complains about them? Any advice to flip my personality to make me more like a man, than a "kid"?#2, any of my flirts are flawed. Usually, only one in 5 succeed. Otherwise, she finds something more wittier to say than me. The only way I've been able to charm her is just the fact that I am so extremely sweet. Still, it's not enough to be sweet. What would be a good flirt to a Scottish Woman?#3, She's going to be moving back to Scotland in about a month from now. She doesn't want to go home, but she kinda has to. When she gets back home, she's bound to get married, but at the same time, she said she's still not sure, or even certain that she's ready to settle down yet (above). She values her freedom. I want to say that I really like her, and break the mirror of her engagement. I need to persuade her. I want to be there for her. I'd even be willing to move to Scotland at this point. However the way things look, I won't be leaving America anytime soon, but I also want to tell her that I kinda love her, in a way. I want to leave her wanting me, and I know there is still a month to have fun with her, but, Time moves by too fast. What can we do that is fun, and that would bring us closer as friends.... Possibly dating. I don't want to tie her down either, just want to date her for a while, and see where it goes from there, and if she likes it or not, then I'll let her decide on what she want to do. Heck, if possible, use my talents to make her fiancee a bit jealous?#4, My biggest weakness is always breaking the barriers of friendship, to change it into boyfriend/girlfriend. How do I show her that I don't want to be "just friends" and stand out from other guys. That I am worth taking a leap of great faith. I know it would take alot, but I will do anything. How do I show her in the day to day actions that I want to be more than "Just Friends" and steal her heart. What can I do in one final stand in the end to explain to her, that I want to be more than "just friends" but still saying that I don't want to tie her down completely?So, in a nutshell, how do I steal her heart in just 30 days? How do I show her that I really like her, and take it to the next level? Because I'm not about to let someone as perfect as her get away. No matter what, I'll take any answer, but give up (I can't ever give up). I can sense she's attracted to me, but it also feels like it's fading away slowly.So, 30 days to prove that I am the man. Where do I start/continue?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): You need to figure out what you want.Sounds like you've given this girl the power to break your heart, Sounds like you are on the edge and could fall at a push.You need to take some power back.Be the marlin not the fisherman.It's ll about you, dont get caught up in games, there is no game if you know what YOU want.
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