A
female
age
41-50,
*thenasteph
writes:Is it possible to move forward and end a marriage you dont want to end but you have no choice to because the other person is just a taker? How do you leave someone you love? Especially without a support system. How do you throw in the towel when you love someone with all your heart but they just dont care about you like you deserve them to? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (7 September 2007):
 The first thing I want to say is: Good for you for leaving a man who doesn't care about you the way you deserve to be cared about. Many women are too scared or too afraid of being without love to do something like that, so props to you! You're very brave. Second thing...I went through something similar to this. I don't know if my method will work for you, but it worked for me, and you can try. Just start by, sort of, weaning yourself off of your husband. Spend less time with him, don't think about him as much, go out with your friends more. I know it sounds kind of mean, but you're planning to leave him anyway, right? If you can keep gradually reducing the amount of time you spend thinking about your husband and being around him, then you'll gradually become less attached. It will probably take several months. Also, start focusing more of your attention on the reasons *why* you're leaving him. Don't forget those for a second. If you really want to leave this guy it'll take some focus on that goal. Decide what you want to do and stick with it. If you go switching between loving and aloof your husband will get annoyed and it will lead to some marital problems. You don't want that if you really haven't decided on leaving for sure yet. Again, this might not be the best method for you, but it worked great for me. And if this doesn't sound like a good plan, you can always go cold turkey like the previous poster said.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 HiYou just do!I left someone 3 years ago that i absolutely adored! Had been with him nearly 2 years. I hadnt ever split from someone i had loved before and i wont pretend its easy! Its not. It was harder than i ever imagined it would be. But he was too young, i knew there was not going to be any future, and i wasnt getting any younger so i got out. But i did cold turkey and didnt have anything to do with him. Luckily he wasnt in the same town so i didnt have to bump into him. It took me 2 years to get over him, but we get on as mates now and i can go to the place he goes to once a month and i dont have any feelings for him whatsoever, only as a mate. Even helped him out with chatting on the phone recently when his girlfriend cheated on him repeatedly.You CAN get over someone you love, it just takes determination and time.But make no mistake, its never easy!Good luck.C xxxxxx
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