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How do you keep your sex life exciting once you have moved in with your partner?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 June 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2011)
A female Ireland age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hey, I'd love some advice on how to keep my relationship fresh and stave off boredom or complacency please :) I've been with my gorgeous bf for 8 months, love him, love spending time with him, and we have a great sex life. He has said he'd like us to move in together in the next year, but I'm hesitant to...even though I love him very much and can see myself 'settling down' with him, I worry that things will become stale and unexciting if I move in with him. We see each other 3-4 times per week at the moment, and look forwards to seeing each other, so things are pretty passionate when we do meet. Is there any way to keep things going like that? What keeps a guy craving you? What could we do to keep our sex life as exciting as it is now? And how do you do these things if you live with someone?

For background - I lived with my ex-bf for 5 years, and we ended up taking each other for granted. I really want to avoid the same mistakes.

Thanks for your advice :)

View related questions: moved in, my ex, sex life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

"problems start in the sex life of couples living together on long term basis not because of boredom with sex but because problems and differances in other issues which are reflected on the sex life"

No truer words could be written by anyone.

This is the only thing you need to know.

It is important to be honest, open, and willing. Talk about your past, your hopes, your dreams, and your love of the other person.

Be radically honest, and never make the other person feel like they are less than anyone else in the world.

It is the entire basis of a good life together, sexual or otherwise

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

Honestly I would hold out for a ring and a nice proposal:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

believe it or not problems start in the sex life of couples living together on long term basis not because of boredom with sex but because problems and differances in other issues which are reflected on the sex life. I am a male so I can only give openion from male perspective. The biggest issue is money issue. when there is not enough it causes stress. also dashed dreams and expectations at work or carrier cause rift and stress. then there is the issue of taking each other for granted and rediculing each others views. also critisizing your partner's openions or loved ones such as family members and friends.remember when you are dating you see your partner only in the best light concerning dress and manners but when you live together you see each other in all sorts of manners which some are not very pleasant. so the secret is to make sure that you take good care of your looks at all times possible.I can not express myself very well but I think from these afew lines it is clear what is required if you want your sex life to remain alive when you are living together.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

Make sure you have some separate activities so your not around each other 24/7, for example, take time to have a few nights where you each go out separately with friends.

Don't get lazy and start walking around the house all the time wearing sweats and a face mask. :)

Surprise him with cooking a meal every once in a while....wearing new lingerie...just don't make it feel like sex is a chore!:)

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (10 June 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntrole playing has an endless variety of really hot prospects.you know; one day you play the part of a maid he's the client. next dasy you're a nurse,he's a patient with E.D. and you are going to "cure" him. then he's the good looking delivery guy and you're the neighborhood slut.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

Hi. Well I can make a few suggestions, keep having date nights, going to different places every few weeks, don't travel there together, go as though it's a first date and see where that leads. Always talk about how you're feeling, your partner may be irritating you and not be aware of it, if you let them know then they can work on it. Share your fantasies with them and try new things in the bedroom. Always go to sleep happy, never go to bed on an arguement.

Hope this helps!

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