A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there, I need your advice. (Sorry in advance if I add a bunch of random details.) My boyfriend and I have been having a pretty rough few weeks. We just haven't been getting along. We've been together for almost two years, and we've only ever gotten in 3 major arguments, where we couldn't even stand to speak to each other. The weird thing about what we're going through now is that there wasn't a single catastrophic even that put us where we are now. I've been feeling like everything I do has been annoying him so I've kind of been trying to stay out of his way - but this has clearly escalated into something that I didn't expect it to. We were fine and gradually we came to this point where everything the other says gets on our nerves, we hardly speak - though we talk everyday just to make sure the other is still alive, and we haven't been making plans to see eachother like we used to. In the past month, we've hung out maybe 6 times, even though we go to the same school and we live less than 10 minutes away from eachother. I know some couples are used to seeing their significant other at sunch infrequent (idk if thats a word) intervals...but he and I went from hanging out everyday, to just sending brief texts. The amount of tension between us became too much for me so I invited him over so we could figure things out. I didn't want to break up and I still don't...I just wanted to fix things. Neither of us really said much. So I asked him if he wanted our relationship to be over. Then he got really upset (like sad) and said no...but he basically said that the reason he's been acting the way he's been acting is because he doesn't think I love him or care about him anymore.But I do. And I'm to the point where I'm not sure where to go from here. Because part of me wants to show him how much I love and care about him, but part of me feels like I shouldn't have to prove myself to him...especially after being together so long. I'm not sure what to do anymore. Advice please?
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female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (30 May 2011):
It seems your relationship has just done the same as most longterm ones. You've been together so long everything just becomes the same and arguments become more frequent, everything's just a bit tetchy. I've been the witness of this breaking up couples twice in the last month or so, don't let this happen. You just need to bring the relationship back to life, just do some things that are different instead of doing the things you do all the time. Although I understand how you feel about how you shouldn't have to prove yourself to him, I think the best thing to do is to show him some love. After all, if you thought that he didn't love you anymore, you'd want him to prove it to you, right?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Actions speak louder than words. I guess the both of you just got in to a routine and now you are both feeling the strain on the relationship. you both need to start making more of an effort here. Talk to him again and tell him you both need to put in more of an effort to make this relationship work. Start doing new and exciting things. Spend quality time together and do fun things together, get the spark back in to the relationship before it dies completely.
Dont keep doing the same things over again when you both meet up, try and keep things new and mixed up and fresh. But you are both lacking in communication here so just remember to keep talking to each other and telling each other how you feel. He has told you that he feels you dont love him anymore and your response to this is after two years you feel you shouldnt have to prove your love but obviously he is feeling this for a reason that you dont understand. So you need to try and show him that you care more, but tell him to show you the same affection. Good Luck.
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