A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:As I sit here typing this, I think of how ironic it is that my boyfriend and I, 25 km from each other, would have to endure a long distance relationship. However, yesterday I was informed of his plans to travel to the other side of the world for 5 months to further his expertise in his line of work. I am delighted that he is finally getting the chance to do so, (his work normally doesn't allow such time away). At the same time, I dread the thoughts of being that long without him. I would like to hear how couples work through this, especially the person left behind counting down the days. No matter how hard I try not to, I know that will be the case for me. We have only been together 6 months but have known each other prior to our relationship. On the plus side, hearing his plans made me realise how much he does mean to me and I spent the evening in tears. How will I work through this and how can I let him know how I feel without putting a dampener on things?
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female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 I have been there and i know how you feel, you want to stay in contact but you don't wanna make a short phone call or a short conversation. Or you will blame yourself for not going what you wanna go for. They like to hear that you miss them and love when you ask hows it going and whats going on lately. But the main thing is don't becaome overbearing in the relationship. if he'll be back soon then great :) but you have to be supportive and if you cry.. that is ok but it would be a good idea in my opinion not to tell him that lol (i personally don't let anyone that isn't like my sister see me cy)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): hello,
my boyfriend is leaving for the army in around 10 weeks. and i dreading every minute of it. i can truly sympathise with how you feel. but if we sit around moping when they leave where is that going to leave us! although i am only 16 and i have 6th form ahead of me, i no that everyday i will sit waiting for a text message or wondering if there is a letter at home for me. but i feel that we both need to get out the with our friends and try something new. how about a dance class, or a pilates class? something interesting, energetic yet fun that will keep your mind off that special someone.
good luck with it all.
and im sure it will be fine.
much love x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 June 2008):
Yep been there done that, got the t-shirt. (army wife)
Well my hubbie has been gone 26 days now on a 6 month tour of Iraq.
The best way to get through this is to completely throw yourself into something new. Start a new hobby, get a second job, make a career move of your own, ANYTHING that doesn't involve sitting thinking about him and wondering if he will call tonight.
Email him but don't make it every day or you'll be sitting panicking any day that an email doesn't come. Limit your phone time as much as possible or you'll stay in by the phone each night rather than going out and having fun.
Write eachother letters, I know it's a million times slower than email but it's SO GOOD when you come home at night and find one on the door mat and can hold it in your hands and read it over and over again and see his handwriting.
Its horrible, I'm not going to lie to you. You'll feel like a chunk of your heart has been ripped out, but it is doable. Just fill your time and it will pass by eventually.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I will not be honest with you if I tell you oh don't worry it is easy!
Yeah, it is difficult; I deal with that often,so many poeple nowadays , it does happen; you are fortunate, it is only 5 months, he will be back for Christmas!
Try and have contact by telephone if possible, even if not everyday, but from time to time; text messages; and email each other on a regular basis.
Try to stay in "touch" with each other;
day to day activities, what is happening, what you are doing etc. It somehow does seem to help fill the "gap" created by distance and when you do get back togehter, it is not as if you are total strangers, not knowing what has happened in the others life during the time of absence.
The more you can have contact and share intimate details the better.
You will have to be strong for him, allow him this career opportunity and brace yourself.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder!
Not easy, but you can do it!
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