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How do I to get friends wives to go topless too?

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Question - (25 August 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 11 October 2017)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I asked my wife to try to go topless in our hot tub in front of two other couples - and she did! It was our plan for me to say something as a joke, like, "house rules, everyone has to go topless". And then my wife was to say OK, and hopefully the other women would follow.

Well, my wife did it. She even sat up in the water a few times so that both the other men could see her nipples. That made me very excited, and she liked it too. Unfortunately, none of the other women followed suit.

my wife said she liked making me soo excited, but was too nervous about what the others were thinking to enjoy being looked at. My wife said if all the women did it, then she probably would have enjoyed the men leering at her. but I was bummed too, cause I was hoping to see the other women. In all honesty, though, it is my wife revealing that makes me the most excited.

Ladies, is there any way this suggestion could be made to inspire you to go topless in such a circumstance (several couples drinking). We have no interest, at least at this point, in any sort of soft swinging. Nor would my wife ever want to just come out and ask. So is there any circumstance under which you women would shed your tops in such instances? Some joking way to bring this about?

While I do like my wife just doing it, it would really get me going to see her getting excited revealing herself. I don't believe she can really feel free to do this unless the other women participate. Of course, i would be curious to see the other girls too.

View related questions: nipples, swinging

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A female reader, FionaMacG United States +, writes (11 October 2017):

It's not the guys its the other women. I'm happy with how I look at 71 but not all women are happy with how they look at any age. Too bad we don't recognize beauty as part of the real value of being human.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010):

We recently moved to a house with a jucuzzi in a summer house in the garden. One day our friends came round to see the house and my girlfriend took her friend to show her the jucuzzi in the garden whilst I tied up with her husband. We weren't planning on using the jacuzzi so our visitors had not brought any swimwear.

After some time we went to look for our partners and found them nude in the jacuzzi. We immediately joined them "au naturel". I think the secret was letting the girls get in first on their own.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntThis question is pretty whacked. But I wish you the best of luck in your topless pursuit. You seem like a really fun couple, but no, I'll be busy doing laundry all weekend.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'll tell you what the conversations were like on those drives home.

She: Boy, THAT was uncomfortable. I could not wait to get out of that hot tub.

He: Yeah, she really spiced it up, didn't she? Not bad boobs for a woman her age.

She: Do you think they really thought I would take my top off?

He: I suppose they did.

She: *shudders* Ugh, did you see Carl practically drooling at the thought of it? That really was uncomfortable. I hope there were no hand fumblings under the water, I'm not into group sex, no way, no how. What were they thinking? That we were going to do some sort of couples' swap in the hot tub?

He: I guess Linda likes showing off and Carl likes it too.

She: That's IT, no more parties with them. I don't want to look at her boobs or his face, I don't care how many margaritas I've had.


The other car.

She: Linda has a nice pair of boobs!

He: Yes, she does.

She: Did you want me to take my top off? I never have done that in front of other people. I'd never thought it would happen in their hot tub!

He: I don't know. I don't know if I would want Carl ogling you that way. You have a great body and I love it but I'm not sure I want everyone to see all of it.

She: Well, what do we do if they invite us over again?

He: Let's think about it. Maybe we'll just stay out of the hottub.


Of course, the conversation could have gone like this too:

He: Wow, that was really wild. Topless in the hottub, like some softcore porno thing.

She: I was a bit surprised by the whole thing. Do you think they are swingers?

He: I doubt it. I think she was just showing off her body. He obviously expected you girls to take your tops off too.

She: I was so taken aback I had no idea what to do. You and I haven't ever discussed anything like this and I didn't know what would be okay. I'm not anti-nudity but I needed a little advance notice or more tequila.

He: Will you do it next time?

She: Maybe.


You'll be able to tell if they were offended pretty easily. They won't accept an invitation back to the hottub. I think that'll make it pretty clear. Of course, you keep on doing this, and people will know what to expect at your house. The people who are into it will self-select and you'll wind up with the party crowd you seem to be looking for.

But seriously, don't create an uncomfortable situation for your friends. Women can be very self-conscious of their appearance and the men might not like the idea of having their wife show off her body in front of friends. You've done it now, people will talk about it and you will find out who is interested when you ask them over to the hottub again. Just don't get all creepy, obsessive and gross about it; you will lose friends that way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

No offence, but you're making yourself sound like a pervert. There are clubs for that kind of thing if that's what you're interested in.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntGod, the thought of sitting in a hot tub with some drooling guy insisting I take my top off is enough to make me upchuck. Yuck. If anyone pulled a stunt like that with me, that would have been the end of our socializing, for sure.

Go find a nudist club and stop sexually harassing your guests. Jeez.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 August 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI'm betting you and your wife made a lot of people uncomfortable. Specially if they have different values.

I suggest you two find some swinger club or find people who wants to do that kind of thing instead of this.

I tell you right now if you two were my friends I wouldn't be hot tubbing with you again, ever.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

person12345 agony auntI think that trying to get your friends to take off their tops so you can see their boobs is probably just asking for trouble. Just enjoy how exciting it was seeing your wife being voyeuristic and call it quits is my opinion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

doubtful your gonna get the wives to go topless - i have a hard enough time going topless in front of my partner and that's one person i've known for 10 years. lol. Us women will only do what we are comfortable with - your wife didn't mind but i have a feeling most women would.

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