A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Okay here is a quick glimpse of my confused life. I was with my ex...we'll call him John for 6yrs. Meet him when i was 14, so i grew up with him and learned right from wrong. I decided i was young and it was time to have some fun. Go to some bars with the girls and stayin out late, etc. I meet a man while having "fun" with the girls. He seemed so sweet and i could see myself with him. Well dont judge a book by its cover. He slums off, doesnt work, have a car, etc. I gave him awhile to get his crap together and here is it 7mths later and no progress. We recently found out i was pregnant (yeah it gets worse). I dont love this guy and think about John allllll the time. I am so deeply in love with him and regret what i did. How should i go about telling the guy im with now i dont love him and want to be with John? Him and i live together and i dont want to have to lie to sneak behind his back...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Just be as honest as him as you were with us. "John" seems like a great catch.... and so often people don't have a second chance- or wait too long. do not make that mistake
so girl, you know its love and you know what to do
tell your current guy how the spark is gone and just fill him in and keep it real. there is no point in keeping anything from him. he deserves to hear it
and i am hoping that john is still single and open... so just go for him[;
best of luck333
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): I have been with this guy for what seems like years but it's only been a nth even tough we've known each other for two years. I decided to ask him out and he said yes but the second day we are going out he tells me he Loves me but not thinking since it was three in the morning and I was in bed and he was in his (we don't live together) I said I love you too but now he's saying it all the time and it gets annoying and I just don't know how to put it into words and I was going to tell him today but he was sick and I didn't see him at school and never got aroud to talk to him I really want to tell him but just face to face not over the phone or in a letter. It's just so hard and harder to do it right to his face but it shows that I care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Why cant you tell him exactly as you have told us? Be honest and to the point. You dont love him and probably never will. Life will be so hard bringing this baby into the world with no love around, so get out now and let him know 100% just how you feel. Dont beat around the bush. Be open and truthful.
take care and big hugs
xx
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Say, I have fallen out of love with you because I realized, with the baby coming-you are not self reliant. You can't take care of yourself, you will provide no stability, you are out of control.
Are you prepared to walk out this man's life and take away the father of the child from baby? Are you able to know where he lives, how to find him when you must seek child support? Does he abuse drugs or alcohol?
Are you prepared to be a single Mom? Can you provide for the baby? Will Mom and Dad help out til you get back on your feet and work to be self reliant and provide for baby? Will you go to school? School just gives you the ability to get a higher paying job.
You have made poor choices all along and now suffer the consequences. I am glad you seem to have learnt your lesson.
Don't be in a hurry to claim you love someone who is not in your life and may not be prepared to accept you and baby.
Focus on you and baby til you really know what your life will be a year from now, three years, five. Make a plan and map out what you want you life to look like five years from now. Then write down your options on how you can get there. Direction is needed. You've been running around and away without it.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 You are right in wanting to tell him... And you should, as soon as possible.
How do you do it? The honest way.
I think you need to sit him down, and chat to him. Tell him that you've given your relationship a go, but things aren't working for you, and you can't see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. Tell him that you don't think you are over your ex, and that you'd like to give it another go with him... I'm sure that you know that the baby now complicates things.
Have you spoken to your ex? Does he know about the baby? Is he willing to be with you regardless? What about your current boyfriend, is he excited about the pregnancy? Is he planning on getting a job to support the child?
So many things to consider. I am NOT saying that you must stay with your current boyfriend, just because of the baby - just the opposite. You don't love this new man, and must move on as soon as possible, so that you can offer your child a healthy environment to grow up in. With or without a boyfriend.
I hope this helps.
Good luck.
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