A
female
age
,
*eacake
writes:I need advise for a delicate situation. A friend, just a friend, who I have known for 25 years has come to stay at my place which was supposed to be a couple of weeks until her LDR guy arranged things for her to move to his city.He is taking a very long long time to arrange things. She got here a couple of months ago. She stayed in a guest house for a week and then house sit for a neighbor. Just after thanksgiving I said she could stay a few days more AND THEN she ended up going to the ER with heart and kidney problems. I am really beyond annoyed now having her in my tiny apartment. I am a low income person and she has basically no money other than the tips she makes while singing with another neighbor at a daily gig.I want her OUT!!!!!!!!!! I have no idea what to say without her getting pissed off and yelling at me again, as she did the first time I told her time is up 2 months ago.... i'm selfish and not a good friend! Had she not taken ill, I'd never had let her stay again.How do I gentley let her know she needs to find another living arrangment?thanks!
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female
reader, Teacake +, writes (5 December 2008):
Teacake is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Gina and Oldersis!
I actually asked this guy 2 months ago when he called if he could please be more clear about the plan and not only did he shout at me and say it was none of my business, and said I had the nerve to call him... when I corrected him to say, excuse me you just now called my phone! (LOLfucker!) When I told her that I thought he was rude - she yelled at me to say I was rude and I was not being much of a friend if I wanted her out after 2 weeks since I had told her 3 was okay before she arrived.... and said I was very selfish!
She then took a room at a guest house but a week later ended up staying at my neighbors downstairs, then when another neighbor went out of town for 3 weeks she stayed at his place. That was the day before thanksgiving. I said she could stay a couple days after he got back but she then took ill and had to go to the ER for heart and kidney problems.
She is now a lot better and I said to her this morning... I can't help you anymore after Sunday. She said in some surprised tone... Help? What do you mean by help me?
I said, after Sunday you need to find another place. She got all angry about it saying - gee thanks for giving me 1 day. I said, its only friday and you've had a lot of time to make a plan. She started to get into it but thank god she shut up. SHe is out for the day I think at the hospital for more info and pain pills and I FEAR she is going to make things very unpleasant as if I have some sort of obligation or guilt trip. She is just a friend. Not a companion or anything of the sort that I owe her shit!
I'm a little gal who isn't very assertive and she is a very big lady with a huge forceful persona. I'm very nervous that she is going to try to manipulate me with anger - I hope things don't get ugly.
Gina, there is just no way I'm going to offer 2 more weeks! LOLOL She is one of those people who would stretch two weeks into well, now that it is winter and really cold.... get the drift?
I wish she would just go back to that guest house tonight, have this rich guy pay for it and get her on the plane to baltimore before the christmas airfare hike. If she gives me shit I plan to say, listen, winter is just about here, the airfare is about to go up and right now is the best time to get a plan going.
I hate confrontation! I am no good at it. I usually let people get away with shit. But I'm very low income and this is a tiny apartment and I am not into having a female without money, glom on to me! LOL
oh well! I'll let you guys know how things turn out Sunday! Thanks! Pray for me to find the courage to not let her push me around. xoxo annie
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