A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing someone on a regular basis and we have discussed marriage already. We have been seeing each other for about 3 months now. The problem is that before this I was seeing someone on again and off again for 2 years. We were the classic friends with benefits. The problem is that I have seen the friends with benefits about twice during the times I have seen the girl that I have been seeing now for 3 months. I guess I fear telling the 2 year girl about the 3 month girl. She has the type of personality that might go off the deep end. She knows that I see girls during this 2 years but I have never discussed it. I have always told her that I work alot and don't have time for a real relationship. She has dated some and has even told me about it. I am just afraid to tell her.What do I do? I know I have to say something but can't seem to fess up to her. She leads a very reclusive type life and afraid she might do something dangerous to herself or me.Her family is in another state and I don't know any of her friends really.What do I do? How?
View related questions:
friend with benefits Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): Does the "new girl" know about your on-going FWB relationship? Why is it on-going, seeing you say you want to marry this girlfriend of three months? Some things aren't adding up...
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 August 2009):
 FWB isn't what she thought was going on, and you knew it. You have been deceptive, and neither the "love of your life" or your FWB, or female person you have deceived, will be happy with how you have conducted yourself. You also knew that she was a bit squirrelly, so WTF were you thinking?
Honestly?
Throw yourself on the mercy of the court and 'fess up!!! Kiss everyone's butt and come clean, for God's sake. Apologize once, twice. three times and keep doing it until the love of your life believes that you have come to your senses and she is willing to trust you again.
And go and break up once and for all with the girl who is in love with you, who has slept with you and you have been using. I doubt very much that there is anything that you can sincerely say to her that will make up for your behavior or how much you have hurt her, but perhaps, at some point in the future, you will actually grasp how badly you have treated her.
Take some responsibility for your actions. That's what a man does.
Frankly? This sounds like a fake question for a guy if it was written by someone in this age group...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): How in the hell can you know you want to marry three month girl, but a "friend" (friend till the end) for two years you don't consider as a permanent life partner? Just wondering as friendship is the basis for all true love relationships....how can you know the character of a woman you have only known for three months? Sounds like pure lust to me....Defend yourself please.
...............................
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 August 2009):
 You'll just have to be honest with her and let her know what's going on. It's worse to string her along and not tell her.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): you are going to have to man up and tell her dude!! every action has a reaction. if you and the 2 year girl were more than fwb that would be different.but the other girl you are going to marry right? cant have your cake and eat it too.break it to her diplomatically.
...............................
|
