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How do I tell him I haven't had sex in 8 years?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

just started talking to an old boyfreind. Its been 19 years! We want to be together again and he is out of state, but coming back. How and do I tell him i havent had sex in 8 years? What will he think of that? Don't know what to do!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010):

lol ahh I didnt have sex from puberty up until age 25...now how pathetic was that to tell even to someone I had no feelings for. In your case, much different. No need to speak as once you get into the act...it'll all come back to you and esp if u have feelings for the chap...things will flow naturally and im sure youll be great at it ;)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010):

THANK YOU !

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (19 October 2010):

Danielepew agony auntHe won't mind. Ditto, Vintage64.

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A female reader, soconfusedhelp United States +, writes (19 October 2010):

soconfusedhelp agony auntdont tell him that its been eight years. just say, right before the sex, "its been a while since ive had sex, so you better make up for all that time." thats what id do(:

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010):

Relax, I am sure he isn't going to say.. "So, when did you last have sex?" so unless you tell him he isn't going to know. Maybe you will tell him later, and he will think, wow 8 years without, this girl doesn't sleep around.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (19 October 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntThere's no need to tell him it's a little dusty down there, possibly some cobwebs. We all go through our dry spells, some just don't have the time and don't feel like looking for a one night stand. Or some can't bring themselves to go down that path and stay celibate for the time being.

Just get some sexy panty set, or a little naughty lingerie to set the mood and get those juices flowing..then let him take the reins and ravish you. You will be so caught up in passion and romance you won't have time to worry.

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A female reader, Natalie:) United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2010):

Natalie:) agony auntI agree with dirtball, you don't really need to bother bringing it up. I don't really see why it's important.

However if by some strong impulse to tell him you need to I would just mention it near the time when things are about to get hot and heavy.

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A male reader, slimfish New Zealand +, writes (19 October 2010):

slimfish agony auntwhy tell him, thats your private business, and dont worry its like riding a bike,you never forget.

i went through a layoff due to my wife falling ill. but things just fell back into place when that issue went away.

just think of it a another virginity,and i bet you know a lot more now this time arround?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010):

Just tell him you have been celibate, but just recently decided you didn't want to anymore. Or tell him the truth i don't see why it should matter. Or don't say anything at all, do you think he will notice?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 October 2010):

dirtball agony auntI wouldn't say anything. Why bring it up? If I were going to say anything, I'd make a joke about being rusty or feeling like a virgin again because it's been so long.

Really, this information is unlikely to be a turn off or anything like that so I wouldn't worry.

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