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How do I stop urges to like other men when my boy friend is unavailable? Even though I do love my Bf?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2011)
A female India age 36-40, *unt for peace writes:

hi.

i am 24 and I have a boyfriend...

he is studying in a different state and hence we are maintaining a long distance relationship from last 2 years

our relationship is really good in all respects.

but i have a problem of getting attracted towards any guy who seems fine and is interested in me. and it happens with many guys simultaneously.

some at work places, some in my locality...any where.

i feel like talking to them when they call or going out...

there is one guy at my work place who is definitely not up to my class but likes me a lot...i don't like him, but i kind of like his presence and even sometimes i feel like getting close.

i know i love my boyfriend hopelessly as i care for him the most, i don't doubt i love him. i can't live without him ann i feel the urge to be with him the most.

when he is around, i remain drowned in him, but in his absence or when he gets busy in his work for weeks (we do talk, but less)...

But outside of when i am with him, then i feel this odd tendency of me. It disturbs me a lot.

i don't know how to help myself.

View related questions: at work, long distance

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (16 April 2011):

I don't know how to stop that, but maybe you should try masturbating. I don't know whether this will help or not. But I don't have any other idea.

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A female reader, hunt for peace India +, writes (16 April 2011):

hunt for peace is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i dunno whethr u r right but along wid sexual urges...i happn to feel emotions n care for them. and if it is wat u said thn plz tell me how to stop this...??moreover i'd like to tell u dat i nevr masturbate or any such. now plz help me

cz i dont want this. really not. i am excellent in evrythng, all respects...i love my self..its jst this problm which pulls me down in my own eye. i cn conquer all but this particular "me". plz tell me how to stop these urges...

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (15 April 2011):

I think you have sexual urges. I guess it's your instinct trying to have sex with them. And you mind (your rational mind) stopping you from doing it.

Put it another way: you want to get laid with them but you know it isn't right.

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A female reader, hunt for peace India +, writes (14 April 2011):

hunt for peace is verified as being by the original poster of the question

no..definitely not but i do fantasize such and the fantasy vanishes in a fraction f seconds. i think of gettin close n I feel "eeeww" after thinkin dat m close to thm. its like weird..wen m alone i think only abt my boyfriend, do plannings to meet him...evn i remain starin at his pictures...i want to marry him... i want to be a part f his famly...but the moment i go out(for wrk or nethn), this weird thng starts happenin... m fed up of such stupid upsurges..!

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (9 April 2011):

Well, you should ask yourself if you love your boyfriend for real. Because, usually, when you are in love you don't feel the need to get close to other people (in that way).

Do you fear you will end up having sex with one of them?

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