A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 42. She is 34. We've gone out on two dates and have gotten along perfectly.The first time I took her to a concert, then to dinner afterward where we talked.At one point, she said, "you're so cute."The second time we went to a club, then to meet some of her friends at a local restaurant/bar. We held hands on the way to the second place. And while in the restaurant, we flirted by hugging and holding hands and me kissing her cheek and forehead, which she didn't seem to mind.When the night was over, she told me she was hitching a ride with one of her friends because he lives next door to her and it would have been a little out of the way for me, which I didn't mind.I would have preferred to take her home, but I didn't want to raise an issue as we were all standing in front of the place (her, me and her friends).I went to kiss her goodbye on the cheek and she greeted me with her lips, which I took as a good sign because it was in front of her friends.It wasn't a make-out session, but a quick peck on the lips, which I followed up by two kisses on both cheeks.We communicated via text over the next few days and I ask her over to my place where I told her I was going to cook.From the beginning, I told her I like to cook and she sounded very interested in my cooking for her.On Wednesday night, she tentatively agreed to come over on Friday night, telling me will will confirm with each other on Thursday.On Thursday, I text her to confirm but she doesn't respond.On Friday (which is today), I didn't hear from her, so I sent her a text at around 4 p.m., telling her to have a little consideration for my time and efforts.I basically tell her to give me a yes or no, so I can plan my night accordingly.She responds by saying she has a dinner with people from work and apologizes for not getting back to me earlier.I'm not sure if the dinner is a work-related thing or if its just hanging with friends.So I haven't yet responded.My first instinct was to say what a shame it was that she turned out to be a flake, but I held back on that.My second instinct is to say, no problem, we'll do it some other time, as if it were not a big deal.My third instinct is to just not respond at all and not contact her again unless she contacts me first.My inner instincts are telling me that perhaps I came across too strong, not physically, but perhaps in a way where I'm moving too fast as in inviting her to my place, even though she insinuated that she wants to come over.I really like her, so I express it through my texts. I don't tell her I love her, but I tell her I think she is really sweet and precious and adorable.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (4 December 2010):
 It may have been too much too soon, and she was having second thoughts. It doesn't mean she's not still interested in you, but she likely reconsidered going to your place since it would only be your third date, and felt awkward about bringing it up.
Go with your instincts and let her be the one to contact you first.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): ~LET IT SLIDE THIS TIME~
Things do surface...so maybe something did and she really lost track...HOWEVER...if this becomes a patter...say she does it two more times since this...roll out...as she will be a complex, difficult hassle, nothing more...I'M SERIOUS.
~LIVE, LOVE and LAUGH~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Yeah let a week go by and try to reinitiate another date. That way the dust settled with all of this so she will hopefully be refreshed to hear of another invitation. If she doesnt express interest, she's either a) playing a game or b) she's just not interested. Only you can sense that out. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): I wouldn't contact her. If she were truly interested, she would have jumped at the chance to come over to your place for dinner. DO NOT text her again. That's not a good plan. Just sit tight. If it's meant to be, she will get in touch with you. But, if she does and she pulls the same thing again...dump her.
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A
female
reader, Realitycheck  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 I would go with your third instinct. Let her make the next move and be prepared that there may not be one. If you cannot bear to do that, then just text her back that it's no big deal and tell her some other time, then you can tell her to call you when she has time. That still puts the ball in her court and makes her accountable for the next move.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 December 2010):
 This one time, I would let it go. Maybe she genuinely forgot and has been busy with work. I suggest that you text her next week and try to set up another date. See what happens then.
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A
male
reader, Geronimo +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Short and sweet. To much to quick. Leave her alone and let her get back to you. When she's comfortable she'll get with you if she's interested. Be nonchalant and confident when she does.
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