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How do I prevent his mood swings, that make him break up with me?

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2009)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

It's an interesting situation, actually... You see, I'm in a long-distance relationship with someone who's a few years older than me (though that might not be relevant); I guess you could say that he's a... 'mercurial' boyfriend. I read about that term somewhere, and it basically means that he's hard to read and has mood swings. :/

I've learned to adapt to his behavior, but it can get really difficult to know if he's 100% on his decisions, like if he says I'm better off without him, and what not.

We've been together for almost a year now, and I know him well enough to figure out that when he's implying that we break up, it doesn't go through. Usually, it'd take a few days to a week to get him to talk to me again, and when we do talk, I can eventually change his mind. Lately, I can hold him long enough to change his mind without the agonizing wait of those few days.

Put simply, it doesn't take much to set him off. 90% of the time, it's not even any of my doing, but he tends to take it out on me by accident. Not saying that he gets angry at me, but if he's upset, he seems to get really hopeless about everything.

Does anyone have any tips on how to prevent any of his extreme mood swings and what not, hopefully from personal experience?

(By the way, sorry it was so long. :D)

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A female reader, busy04 United States +, writes (30 July 2009):

busy04 agony auntI've been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years now. It's been hard but we've made it work. My boyfriend is a little like yours, with the mood swings. But one thing you have to understand, being in a long distance causes some stress, because you're not together like you wanna be, and other things that you deal with...it's gets a little rough. So I would say to you, talk...A LOT, A WHOLE LOT. And if it's possible try to see each other at least once or twice a month or even more if you can. Be patient, you can't change his mood swings, but you can help ease his mind a little with your conversations, make sure he feels comfortable talking to you & you to him. You know make sure the small things are always mentioned, like how his day was, what's on your mind...those types of things, let him vent. It really takes a lot of patience, understanding, trust and compromise to make LDR's work, but if you guys really are into each other, make it happen. And tell him how you feel, let him know that you understand he may have a lot on his mind to deal with, but he doesn't have to take it out on you. Let him know that you're there for him, to help him get through those things, not to be a target of those things. I'm sure he'll lighten up after that. Me & my guy have dealt with those mood swing issues, and breaking up issues from time to time, but we got through it, and you've been with your guy for almost a year, so you have a good chance of getting through this. It'll work out, patience is key!

Hope I helped ya! If you need any other advice, send me a message. Long distance relationship need a lot of support, so if I can help you any further, let me know :) Wish you the best!

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