A
male
age
30-35,
*ragonslayer
writes:I have this co-worker and I like her but the huge problem is she is also dating and has a child with another co-worker. They have been dating for a while. So, anyway they are going through a rough patch and thats putting it very loosely. Well, anyway he is staying at his moms(they have an apartment together). She confides to me about the situations, because honestly they are good for each other he is just a dumbass. So, anyways she randomly told me she was thinking about cheating on him to me while at work. Needless, to say I was blindsided by her comment. So, when we got some space alone I told her hey its your body, I just hope you can live with it. She then said, " I mean I wouldnt cheat on him, I love him, if I didnt care about him I would."Ok, before ya'll get all angry, I would never put myself in that type of situation. Personally, I would wait months after they called officially called it quits and while im no longer working there.......IM NOT STUPID!I just need help on trying to play it. One side-i want to let this play out and the Other side-is like I need to show interest without coming on too strong so show strong interest just like, then I personally think im falling for a women web.
View related questions:
at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Sounds to me like she thinks off you as a friend. She may also be sussing you out to see if she can use you as bait to annoy her other half and make him fight for her. Honestly don't fall in to her honey trap. Because you are the one that will get hurt and left alone. She does not want you she wants her partner. The father off her child. If you have feelings for her then take a step back and stop allowing her to confine in you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (17 December 2016):
 Be careful. She could be sounding you out to do something to make her partner jealous. It could lead to hurt for you in more ways than one.
A big difference between men and women is that, when women vent, they want someone to listen to their problems. When men vent, they want someone to help them do something about their problems. Both sexes often fail to realize this difference. Men try to fix women's problems when all women want is to have someone listen to them. I wouldn't mind betting she just wants someone to listen to her, hear her and say "I hear you". It doesn't mean she actually means what she threatens to do.
This is probably a temporary blip. When they get back together, if she has done anything inappropriate with you, she will feel bad about it. If you have just listened to her and supported her by being there for her, she will be grateful. If it is not temporary, and they eventually split up, then you can re-assess the situation. That time is not yet.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2016): My suggestion is to remain a friend and get it out of your mind what you would do if they call it quits. You're not really falling for her, you just got a sexual-tweak from hearing that she would consider cheating. I mean, really?
Are you a friend or opportunist? To speak frankly doesn't indicate anger or judgment. It's being honest, in my case.
The difference in being a human and not a beast, is we are able to reason and we are in charge of our impulses. Like lower animals, we do have instincts; but we don't let our desires always supersede morals, reason, and justice. We put some thoughts to the back of our minds and keep them there. We set boundaries where they should be, when they aren't visible and apparent otherwise.
Don't rejoice in the fact they've hit a snag. All relationships do now and then. Just be supportive, and stay neutral on who is wrong or who's right. You've only heard one-side of the story, and your opinion is biased. Never see hope in the failure of others.
Play it fair. That's all you need to do. Place your amorous feelings aside. Be a good ear, and when your own feelings rise and get in your way; put distance between the two of you, to regain your objectivity and neutrality.
Women vent their emotions and they are quite vulnerable in doing so. That's when, as a man, you put strong-character ahead of desires for someone who is already taken.
...............................
|
