A
female
age
41-50,
*ovelee
writes:Hello Friends, please advise me on what I should do. I met a man 6 months ago and we fell deeply in love. Or at least I fell very hard for him and told him this right away, thanks to my vodka tonic. What I liked about him was that he is extremely introvert and shy, opposite of my ex (abusive drug addict). He has been with very few women and has faced alot of rejection. (my ex was somewhat famous, and not just with the ladies)He told me a week later that he also loved me. I introduced him to my kids and we have continued to see each other. I started to notice that he was just coming over to visit and didn't offer to take me out. He also never offered anything in terms of gifts or outings. He is a lawyer, so I'm certain he could afford to. I asked him why this was so, and he said that "he just stopped trying", but he never really did anything when i met him. Because I was always waiting, thinking that maybe this weekend he might do something different than just come over to watch tv. Over the past 6 months I have totally fallen head over heels for this man. I have dated many men since my split 3 years ago and none can compare to this wonderful, gentle person. I know that my intense feelings for him have made him feel uneasy. I have tried my hardest to restrain myself from loving him so much. Today I was thinking about how our relationship has changed and about how I seem to be chasing a man that dosn't like me as much. It seems apparent that I should move on, but he is such a good catch and he is 34 years old, so I know that he will go off and get married soon. I want to chase this man and never let him go, but it seems the MORE i like him the less he likes me. And the same is true in reverse, if I don't call him then he has a total change in attitude and starts liking me again. Sorry for the extended post!My problem is this: I am wondering now how long do I play hard to get or should I see enough to get out completely? Should I have to actually play hard to get for more than one weekend? And what are the steps to do this? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!Thanks in advance!
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move on, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 I dont understand then! The world is your oyster, so why bother with him if he cant be bothered himself.
A
female
reader, lovelee +, writes (2 May 2008):
lovelee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you so much for your replies! Very insightful and I appreciate it!!Also I thought I should add that I own my home, an investment portfolio and a hold high paying position. I do prefer to date men that are similiar to me in this regard. It is not his money i'am after... Thanks again!!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 May 2008):
Personally I think that it rather soon to be playing games for either of you. There is obviously an atraction for both of you, but both playing hard to get?
I really hope that this isnt a taste of what you have to come if you stay with this man. If he cant be bothered after only 6 months it doesnt look good does it?. You say he's a good catch, but thats only financialy, what about the fact he has already told you he has stopped bothering.
It doesnt matter how much you like this guy (and he obviously knows it) I dont think you will get the stability that you crave.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Maybe he's caught on to the fact that you see him as a meal ticket. You shouldnt be expecting outings and gifts just cos he can afford to and if you only want him as he is a good catch the relationship is not going to be about love but what you can get out of him. I understand where you are coming from as I've been a lone parent too and when I first met my man I thought he worked in a burger bar and wondered how he would support us. Turns out he owned the burger bar and had other businesses too and we have a very good life style but I fell in love with the man first not his money. Seriously ask yourself if he was broke would you still be interested if yes just cool it a while and see how it develops x
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