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How do I let go of a sex only relationship of 4 years?

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 June 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

hi I have been involved with this man for four years with no committment and he sees other women.There is no respet and the relationship is not going anywhere, just sex. How do I let go of the relationship without constantly going back.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012):

Treat it like quitting smoking. Stop. don't buy more or sneak one here and there when you need it. Do something else. You don't need to ignore them when you see them in the store. Admire the packaging even. But don't grab them or dream of one. Eventually, you won't be interested anymore.

You do what you want, but I'm not a fan of women who have moved on and deleted numbers and such. I've never been a stalker or disrespectful when a woman says it's over, I respect that, because I've done that too. It's nice to touch base every so often tho. Severing someone from your life, even if it was just sex, it was 4 years...that is a fair chunk of your life. We are who we have been more than where we are going. Remember that when you sit wishing you could just TALK to that person some months or years down the road. I don't believe casual sex is ever just a physical act. it always has a bit of something else along with it. Love yourself, but remember those who touched your life.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 June 2012):

Honeypie agony auntReplace him with a good vibrator..

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (25 June 2012):

Abella agony auntYour belief in yourself must be low if you cannot see that going back to him over and over again is ruining everything.

Every time you allow yourself to be disrespected then he loses more respect for you too.

It is time to sign up for some couselling to try to discover why you think this is the BEST you can ever expect to receive from any man.

You are far more than just his Sex toy.

For Four years he has given you NO COMMITMENT ?

He gives you NO RESPECT ?

And the relationship is GOING NO WHERE ?

What does he bring to the relationship other than sex?

I have said it before but it should be said here:

NO MAN is far better than Any Man who treats you so badly.

No Woman is MORE OF A WOMAN just because she has ANY MAN

Instead all people, men and women, deserve to have a partner where there is Mutual Respect and a Genuine Caring Loving relatioinship.

Can you see that you DO deserve far more than you are putting up with right now? When your self esteem is stronger and in better shape you will see that you Do deserve far better than you are putting up with now

Best Wishes for a Brighter Future.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntTell him it's over and not to contact you again and then delete his number from your phone.. Look for someone who wants a relationship or just stay single for a while. Respect yourself.

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A female reader, blondie1961 United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2012):

blondie1961 agony auntBeing aware that there's no respect in the relationship, that it's built on sex will eventually allow you to stop going back. A relationship that's built on sex is a waste of your time but can be very hard to let go of because it makes us feel sexy. Go feel sexy with someone else.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntNo contact and stay busy...it will get better xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012):

Print out what you have said in your post. Stick it somewhere that you will see often. That's what you think and feel - you know it is the right thing. And believe it with all your might.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012):

Habits are hard to break, but you just need to find something else to fill your time, maybe find some new hobbies to keep your mind off him, be determined not to go back and then eventually you'll just get used to not being around him.

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (24 June 2012):

dearkelja agony auntMake a list of every negative thing this relationship does for you. Read it over and over and over.

Get a friend to give you courage and to keep you on the straight and narrow.

Then put on your sneakers one shoe at a time.

Then step out the door and put one foot ahead of the other one over and over and over.

Now run, fast as you can.

Don't look back.

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