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How do I know if we are just "dating" or in a relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do you know if your someone's "girlfriend" or not?

I've been going on dates with this guy since the beginning of January.A few days ago,I went to his house and he made dinner for me(which i thought was VERY sweet) and we watched movies.He acted like a boyfriend would act...we have kissed and all that before,but since we were in private it was easier to get more personal.Various times he would just hug me or kiss me throughout fixing dinner.Not just on the lips but quick ones on the forehead or cheek as well.And we cuddled while watching the movie.We ended up having sex,but it definetly FELT like more than sex to me at least,i have never had a guy pay so much attention to ME,rather than himself.Hes very sweet.And afterwards we watched the rest of the movie together,still naked,and just cuddled together the whole time.

Not trying to give too much info,but I just want to know judging by his actions,would you think this is a relationship,or what? He hasnt specified one way or the other,and I dont know if we are just "dating" or in a relationship.I guess I should just ask,but what if hes one of those commitment phobes? Then id be crushed because I really like him,more and more every day.And I dont want to scare him if im trying to put a label on things too soon.

View related questions: crush

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A female reader, DearApril United States +, writes (4 September 2013):

Oh girl you are just free cheesecake now. It may be too late to ever be his girlfriend. ASK him after your next kiss (before sex), "Does this mean I'm your girlfriend? (With a smile). If he says no, then he has no respect for you for sleeping with him without asking FIRST and never will so WALK AWAY and NEVER return unless he leaves a message saying "YES you are my gf". If you do not do this you will subject yourself to ongoing humiliation and degradation of your self-esteem, and ultimately may decide it is easier to just join a nunnery than to ever love a man again that won't love and respect you back. YOU screwed up by NOT asking him BEFORE you had sex if he was your bf, but now you KNOW and will NEVER make that mistake again. Be strong and faithful to your loving womanly heart that deserves equal devotion back. Do NOT rely on him calling you a girlfriend in an introduction or overhearing the term as he may consider himself open to having many gfs. He may be shy about asking you and be thrilled you ask him. Either way you need to know because you are already in too deep and will suffer a broken heart if he says "no" or if he dates another. RIP the band-aid off now and get the answer you need to know!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

I'd like to help...

Where abouts are you from?

Region plays a huge part of how people play relationships...

Cities and or small towns.

Big places or small...

How did you meet?

Very important to when deciphering this age old question...

Am I or am I not???

Write back and I will help.

Sweett

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

I dont know why it stated my age is 13-15.Im the original poster,but I am 25.Just an FYI for anybody answering the question and thinking its a child.

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A female reader, kathy255 United States +, writes (9 February 2009):

The only advice I can give you next time you and him are out see how he introduces you to his friends, if he says this is my friend, then you know that you are not his girlfriend. If he just uses your name to introduce you to his friends he may be unsure what you want and may not want to scare you. I'm in a similar situation except he tells me that I am not his gf but at the same time he treats me as his gf. I want to ask him so bad if he will ever want more, but I am scared he will run if I say anything, so I don't either. You might also try to ask a mutual friend to ask him casually if you are a couple. That may be childish but you'll get your answer good, or bad it is still an answer.

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