A
male
age
30-35,
*lderVSYunger
writes:Wow I'm new to this kind of thing. I've found myself in love with a married woman of 26 yrs older whom has three kids and is a grandparent. And I'm both physically and sexually attracted to this woman and I haven't seen her in person, but I do have pictures. I had many attempts to live with her and I either chickened out or wasn't able to make it to her. The feeling are highly strong on both side between me and her. Everyday we talk as much as we can, you would think that we was really a couple just that one of use was on a trip or something. I looking for ways to keep our relationship growing strong even though she is married? I know this is a big risk but I'm willing to go the true distance with this woman to make her happy.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 I'm not sure what you want me to respond with? You have only said that she is still married and a grand-parent, something which we already knew. You dont ask any further questions so I'm not sure how I can help you any further?
You say she has tried to get away from her husband but he follows her - that is a really poor excuse I'm afraid and she is just fobbing you off. If she does not love this man anymore and no longer wants to be with him then she would issue him with his divorce papers, regardless of his proximity to her. So unless she has been to see a lawyer and started legal proceesings then you need to understand that she still wants to be with her husband, she wants to remain married and she still has feelings for him.
It is very easy to leave someone, if she no longer wanted to be in her marriage then she could quite easily end it. You are just deluding yourself that there is some hope for the 2 of you to be together when in reality she will never leave her husband for you.
I really dont know what else to tell you - unless you can see for yourself that she doesnt want to be with you and she is not going to leave her husband then there is not much hope for you and you will continue to waste your time and feelings on someone who can never give you what you want.
A
male
reader, OlderVSYunger +, writes (8 March 2010):
OlderVSYunger is verified as being by the original poster of the question She has tried to get away from her current husband many time he just followers her and she not pleased to be with him. He does nothing with either of his or her family, he just wants to be near her. He does nothing with his wife or yet his kids, grand-children. And I seen this woman enough time and talked to her over the phone many times. And yes she is a grandparent, she had one child not yet older then me.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 March 2010):
You have not even met her in person and she is married. That should be enough to tell you this relationship is not going anywhere and you are wasting your time.
After all, you cant have any idea how you feel about a person until you meet them face to face - that is when you find out if you are attracted to her, if you have a spark, if you have a connection....
Caring Guy is right - this woman obviously likes talking to you, and you will make her feel attractive again and she will be flattered that a boy of 18-21 has such strong feelings for her. She must be 44-47, so a woman approaching 50 with this young boy chasing after her will make her feel fantastic! But that is all you are to her - you are boosting her ego and you are a good friend, someone to talk to who makes her forget the mundane problems of day to day life. Yes you might excite her and make her feel young again - but she will never destroy her family and her marriage for a boy of 18-21.
I bet her children are older than you if she has grand-children! So there is no way she would risk being in a relationship with you because the chances are her children would never forgive her, and possibly deny her the chance to see her grand-children grow up. Do you honestly believe she will leave her marriage and risk her family's happiness for you?
I'm really sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but it seems to me you are a young man that has fallen in love for the first time, and you are so wrapped up in the romance and idea of being in love and being in a relationship with this woman that you have lost sight of reality.
The reality is this relationship has no future, she is not going to leave her husband for you and she should be ashamed of herself for leading you on in this way, and for having an emotional affair behind her husband's back.
I know it will be hard to accept but you need to let this one go - there is no way you can make this work so it is best to call it a day, and move on. Allow her to go back to her husband and try and make their relationship work, after all this is what is best for her and ultimately it is what will make her happy.
If you really love her you will let her go - if you want what is best for her, if you want her to be happy, then the only way to achieve this is for her to focus on her marriage and making it work. Leaving her husband, destroying her realtionship with her children and grand-children; that is not going to make her happy now is it?
Be the bigger person, be strong and let her go. She is not the right woman for you, but there are over 6 billion people on this planet so you will find a single girl who is perfect for you one day, but just be patient.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
It's madness to continue. She's using you as an emotional rock rather than to fix her marriage. This will end with you looking like a fool while she goes back to him. I'm seeing an older woman, but she is divorced. If this woman likes you that much, she will divorce this other man. She is using you as an emotional rock, and nothing more.
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