A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How should I handle these girls? I hate them?So I got a new job a few months ago and the girls there are horrible.They are very unfriendly and don't speak to me so I don't bother with them either.They are 3 girls and whenever they walk past me Always hear them sniff their noses.(They can't say I smell cause I always have my bath, wash my clothes, make up done, hair done and customers are always complimenting my looks and perfume)They all stare at me and laugh and is so obvious they are talking about me.Should I ask them what their problem is?How pshould I handle this.? My manger says I should just ignore them but I'm sick of it. It has gone on for months now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): This sounds like a frustrating, lonely and upsetting experience for you.First of all ask someone you trust, if you need to be aware of any odour issues. We all love perfume however sometimes a squirt too much can be a little over powering for others; it's something that is easy to address. If you are a smoker you may not be aware of how this will linger in your clothing or hair. There are also medical conditions that can cause body odour regardless of how clean you are, which cannot be overcome by daily bathing and is something your doctor can help with. Once you are reassured that the girls' sniffing is simply childishness, simply ignore them. Your manager will be impressed by your maturity. If they continue, talk to your manager and ask him/her to take action. Keep notes of the date and content of your discussion as this will be important if you need to take the matter further later on.This is an unpleasant experience for you and one which I hope will be resolved quickly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 October 2013):
 Personally, I would take the high road and "kill them" with kindness, be polite and the BEST darn employee your boss has ever had.
They are not there to be nice, be your friend, but to do their job. It WOULD be nice if they would grow the Heck up and behave in the work place, but women like this... never do. They are stuck in eternal "high-school" where THEY are the cool kids, thinking it makes them "the cool kids".
Feel a little sorry for these petty chicks.
When they stare and laugh at you, smile back and go back to work. It's only FUN for them if they can make you feel bad. So don't let them win.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): The behaviour of everyone involved will be being noted. The three have shown how childish they are, which means that you only have to ignore them and be a responsible, mature employee to look good to your manager.
Regardless of blame, remember that it is easier and cheaper to replace one member of staff than three.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (4 October 2013):
 I think you should raise it with your manager again.
It is harassment in the workplace and not permitted by law.
This is a good link explaining what you can do by law and what help you can seek as per human rights:
https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment
Don't let these girls bring you down to their level. Chances are they do it to others too so something has to be done.
Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, CIS +, writes (3 October 2013):
Hi - a very similar situation happened to me and this is how I dealt with it.
If you are beginning to feel down, miserable and de-motivated, it is going to impact on your work. Look at Constructive dismissal.
Bullying is not allowed at school nor workplace and the employees there should work in a respectful and professional, at no time belittling or plain nasty.
I would go to your manager, record date, time of meeting and tell them how down you are feeling - ask them to deal with these women. If they don't, again ask for another meeting and say you will go higher if this is not dealt with. And finally, if nothing is done, write a formal complaint stating you told the manager and that you will leave due to stress and then claim constructive dismissal. That will make them take your seriously!
When this was happening to me, I volunteered with children, this made me feel better and made them look worse! Since then, I got a new job and left all those bitchy girls who have nothing better to do than bitch all on their own!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (3 October 2013):
 it is more than likely from jealousy the way they are acting toward you.
" should i ask them what their problem is?" i would suggest not stooping down to their level. if i was going to ask them what the problem is, i might phrase without coming on rough or ignore them all together.
if you act the way they are they will feel like they are succeeding, especially if they see you get mad or blow your top at them. some people act immature and are trying to bully the new kid on the block.
i would suggest doing the opposite of what they are doing either ignore them, or kill them with kindness. treating them nice it will do more than blowing your top , or loosing it. you are new and they see you as a threat, and or they are more than likely jealous of you. childish people. i hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): This is called 'tall poppy syndrome'. Imagine a field of flowers in which you 'the poppy' stand taller than the rest. The lesser flowers are trying to cut you down because they can see that YOU ARE head and shoulders above them. Stand tall and ignore them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): "Should I ask them what their problem is?"
Sure, you can do that. It probably won't solve anything, though. They probably do it because they're jealous of you in some way, whether it be your appearance or job performance. Either way, don't expect them to admit that to you. You make the effort to always look your best, so I'm guessing it's your appearance they're jealous of. They probably make the effort as well, but feel you still look better. And jealousy can motivate people, especially women, to act rude. So I wouldn't take it personally. I know it's difficult not to, but just keep reminding yourself that it's not your fault. If you've never done anything to them, then you already know it can't be you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): Your manager said you should ignore them, and that is what you should do.
This isn't the playground. This is where you work, and your manager is only interested in seeing everyone do what they're hired for. They were already there when you got there. If you don't like it, you may have to find another job.
The manager has first and last word about all this.
Personal issues do not apply.
They haven't laid a hand on you, they have a right to discuss anything, or anyone they please. Your manager is watching you, to see if you're following his, or her, suggestion. You have to take the higher ground, and be mature.
If you create or participate in drama on the job, that is grounds for dismissal.
Decide what is more important to you.
Doing your job and bringing home a paycheck, or getting sidetracked by a clique of snotty females; who think they're still in grade-school?
They don't have to like you. They aren't paid to. It's up to the manager to handle your co-workers. The manager will not allow any harm to you, or disruptive behavior that interferes with work production. He or she, will eliminate things that do, that's their job.
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