A
male
age
36-40,
*mtaylor78
writes:Hi, is it easier to psychologicaly handle being molested as a child and always remember where, when and who did. or to have blocked it out and start remembering as an adult.(figured it out a couple of days ago) it happened when i was around 5 years old i think, im 21 now. i know for sure it happened, it explains so much about my life.but it just feels weird knowing and having no memeory at all... its like its a joke or im just making it all up. its kinda depressing, but i dont feel like i have the right to be depressed, because there are so many other people that are worse off than i am, and of course ironically that makes it even more depressing. i dont want to talk to a therapist, it is hard to talk about out loud (easier to talk to people i dnt know through typing)... i dont know what to do
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anitaw4 +, writes (23 April 2009):
Hi, as the other reader pointed out we are not licensed on here to give legal advice but we can give our experienced oppinions. I have known and have delt with quite a few molested kids and/or adults. Usually, when we all feel safe enough in our current life, the old bad stuff comes out. It often means that we are now able to deal with it mentally. It is hard and it affects different people in different ways. You could be suffering a bit from post traumatic stress syndom. If you are uncomfortable with seeing a therepist, maybe you could handle some groups were others are in your same situation. You can find those by calling hospitals, online, aa or na facilities etc. Often times its easier to write out this stuff then do discuss it. Write it down and write down some answers too. Working it out usually requires you to realize what happened, accept it, deal with it in a way that works for you, then move past it. The person you are with or choose to be with may have to help you with the physical side of things if that is a problem for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Hi there
Therapist, councilling it seems to be the only words of advice given in this day and age.
Well sweetheart I too was molested by a paedo when I was lets say 7. The reason I do not recall my age is because I too forgot all about it until my late 20's. I think we probably went into auto mode and blocked it out. Also at the time I recalled this I recalled another instance that involved a teacher bikinis being tied up paint brushes and a video camera (you do the maths)this one im still considering reporting.
Some people will let the past affect their future because some people can't help it but I think our way is probably just another way of dealing with it. It is not unhealthy believe me I am now in my late 30's and live a good healthy happy life. If I kept dwelling on the past god knows how my life would have turned out. For me I realised that it was a suppressed memory and I supressed it for a good reason, I know all that happened to me but because I was abducted from a park I only know the face of the man and not the name (police never caught him) so I do not have the problem of having to try to remember unlike yourself.
Was the person or people that abused you relatives, friends or strangers? Did the abuse happen only once or many times and did it occur in the same location/residence?
How intense was the abuse? These are not questions for you to answer me I thought that maybe they would help you by hopefully jogging your memory and getting you some answers.
From what you have said it could have affected your life but in what way? I could have used what happened to me as an excuse for everything I did wrong or that went wrong in my life but I never I just got on with it, I suppose everyone is different.
You have every right to feel the way you do and people all over the world are probably in a worse situation but that does not mean you arn't valued enough as a person to warrent the way you feel. As for speaking to someone if doing it through agony sites email or text is comfortable for you then keep doing it at least you will be addressing the problem and eventually you will remember everything.
Please do not blame yourself for any of the memories that do come back and dont feel ashamed try to take a step back and look at your situation as if you are looking at someone else's, it may help you to put things in perspective by doing this. If all you really want to do is talk it over I recommend you single out an agony aunt from this site and see if they can offer any one to one time with you (online obviously).
I do hope that the future bodes well for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, saya +, writes (22 April 2009):
 you should never block your memories it will bring pain and nigthmares try and talk to some one you trustalot and thay will tellyou
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Honey, get yourself into a support group or therapy ASAP. I am really sorry you went through that trauma. Know that all the emotions and confusion you're feeling right now are very normal, though they are unpleasant and upsetting
...............................
A
male
reader, imtaylor78 +, writes (22 April 2009):
imtaylor78 is verified as being by the original poster of the question the title is wrong. i dont want to block them out...they already were blocked out....i let the computer generate a title
...............................
|
