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How do I handle an annoying older co worker?

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Question - (26 March 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello,

So I have a co-worker who is rather annoying and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. He is an older gentlemen (50s) who sits in the cubicle across from me. He is a nice enough person but will always walk over to my cubicle, ask what im working on (in a condescending tone) and then pretty much like.. sit down and make me show him.

He is in no way my boss or above me. I am rather new to the company so I figured it was his way of trying to help but I would just tell him I was in the middle of something and told him I would ask him if I had a question (to get him to leave).

He also eavesdrops on any conversations I have and will not hesitate to just walk over and add to the conversation, when we werent talking to him to begin with. I feel like he constantly spies on me and today I was on a phone call with a co-worker and after we finished the work conversation we mentioned what we did this past weekend. After I hung up I heard him on a phone call talking very low, he mentioned my name and then said "personal call". I assumed he was telling his boss on me. Then this afternoon he was "stretching" right behind my cube and I caught him trying to peer at my work, etc.

I don't know if I can straight up ask him to back off but it is kind of creeping me out and my friends at the office thought it was very strange/said I should avoid him, etc.

Any thoughts? thanks!!

View related questions: co-worker, my boss

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhat bearing does his age have on this?

To be honest I can't see what his age has to do with it.

HIS boss? so you guys don't share a boss?

if you really are having issues then go to HR and ask them what can be done.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013):

Maybe he is the company snake or snitch that was chosen to spy on you since you are new. It happens, a lot. They report back to their bosses or the HR department what they see and hear about other employees. The HR Department will not help you. They are there to protect the company from lawsuits against them.

I have learned to trust no one. Connections can run deep at companies.

I wonder how long he has been with the company.

Employers can install hidden cameras throughout the company or in your computer to make sure that their employees are doing their work and not goofing off.

I would continue to do your work. Act completely professional "at all times." No chatting about your weekends with anyone at the company. Keep your personal life just that--personal. The less they know about your personal life, the better. Immerse yourself in your work. Don't give this man anything he can use against you. Besides, he could be some creepier. You don't really know this man.

As far as him wanting to sit down beside you and show him, tell him what you have been telling him each and every time he does this. He should get the hint and then stay away. Hold your ground in that regard.

If nothing else, I would have a confidential talk with your boss about his behavior, "as long as" it doesn't put your job at risk or you become a target for bullying but I caution to tread lightly in the direction since you are new. You don't want to make waves so soon.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (26 March 2013):

Well if your friends at the office said his behaviour was strange and that you should avoid him Maybe they know more than there saying i would probe them more about this situation and see what you can fine out.If you cant find any information out this way.I would have a friendly but Firm word with your co-worker stating that if you need his help you will ask him and try to creat a cool distance between you.Its not gooing to be easy but do give it a try.Best Luck Nora B.

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