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How do I go about telling my mother of the age gap in my relationship?

Tagged as: Age differences, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay, i need some advice. I have been with my Fiance for over 3 years now, and we plan to get married next year and hopefully move country to live together.

We both still live at home and however, to cut a long story short, he is 8 years older than me. I am 19 and he is 27. I have told my dad and step mum and my mum is the only one who still doesnt know. I have been too scared to tell her incase she judged him -but i know she likes him and i really want to tell her.

How do i go about telling her? Please help me, i plan to tell her at lunchtime.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009):

19 is young to get married. Just sayin.' Make SURE it's what you want and are ready for.

That said, if your mother already knows and likes him the age thing shouldn't be much of an issue. After three years, she has already judged who he is as a person. Be prepared for her to be angry or annoyed at YOU for keeping this from her, but I doubt she'll take it out on your boyfriend. As a 20-year-old dating a 28-year-old, I also went through the "omg what are my parents going to say??" phase and found their objections to be much, much weaker than expected. Good luck

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A male reader, anoms United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2009):

anoms agony auntat your age 8years is no big deal atall, why dont you start off by telling her you have found somone that is mature and reliable etc and your very happy with him because of this, some women refuse to date younger guys in ther teens and early twenties, so why dont you just tell her that you have found the right guy for those reasons, gudluk.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 February 2009):

Honeypie agony auntKinda late to worry about that :) You guys have been together 3 years. She might not be thrilled about the age difference but hopefully she will respect that you love him and he loves you.

Good luck,

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009):

You are together already 3 years happy together and he is(only) 8 years older.

Don't be afraid, but it will be normal if your mother asks about it. Tell her about your happiness and what you feel for each other and how happy he makes you etc.

A mother wants to see here child happy and if you are really happy together, she will be happy for you.

If she asks critical questions, what could be possible, because you did not tell her about your relation, stay lovely and understanding. You could tell here that the most important thing is that you are happy with it,and that you know that a mother wants the best for her child and that she can be comfortable.

Tell you would like that she meets him. You could give some examples to her what your fiance did for you, or tell about your harmony or same expections of life or other things about a relation that could touch her heart.

There is only a an age gap, if you feel like this.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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