A
female
age
30-35,
*imply.megan
writes:Me and my fiance have been together for a long time and had our ups and dwns and I want to make things interesting by having a 3 sum before we tie the knot to make up for the too low of a budget for bachlor and bachlorette parties. I'm fine with fulfilling his fantasy of 2 girls and I want to have 2 guys in return. We both want to do this, but its a ways down the road until we do.. And he is getting antsy so to speak. And although it is exciting, I got to thinking about who the others wuld be and if there will be an issue with them afterwords that would alter our relationship. Finding the right people has become an issue because I think its best if its an out of towner that wed never see again, but that alone is a trust issue... I'm not sure how to ask this properly but I'd like some advice on how to go about doing this the best way for both of us.
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female
reader, simply.megan +, writes (9 August 2009):
simply.megan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I want to thank everyone for being open minded and helping me out on this.My conclusion isn't certin yet, I have a lot of thinking to do before we do this. And if we do go through with it, we are going to have to have a 100% understanding on all details.Again, thanx so much for your advice! It really helped put me in a better perspective.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): I'd suggest buying a book or two on this topic and read them together. There are some REALLY good books on this topic and you can learn alot.I agree 100% about NOT involving anyone that you know- 3somes are a great on vacations, but you have to know how to spot a likely partner and quickly close the deal. You also have to had negotiated all aspects with your partner... think about all kinds of stuff - from kissing, to oral, viginal sex, anal, toys, drugs, pain, water spots (pissing on you...) Talk about it all... More importantly, talk about the experience, and how you two will play with the third... too often, the guy will focus on the other woman, leaving his partner OUT (or the girl wil focus on the other guy...)...
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (9 August 2009):
 I think this is really a bad idea threesomes tend to ruin relationships more then anything, but its fully your decision so i will just offer advice.
Firstly NEVER use someone you know, find someone out of town (like you have already said) there are lots of online sites where you can meet people (not sure if its the safest place but not sure how else you can find someone) i would not give out personal info such as real names because why do you need to know this your only meeting for sex, and dont get jealous you both need to go into this with your eyes wide open its sex nothing more!
The only real problem i can see is if you like it so much you want to do it again but your other half hated it and never wants to do it again, i reckon that might damage your relationship more then anything.
Fantasies are usually better as fantasies
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (9 August 2009):
 When I was about 22 I bought a little flat in London with a side on view of the river. The mortgage was 7 x what I earned in a year. I was incredibly proud of that place. I loved it. The first weekend after I moved in I was invited in for tea by the older couple who lived at the end of the hall. Their flat was amazing, acres of space, huge terraces overlooking the river. Things were never quite the same again. I still loved my own flat but it wasn't THAT flat. Some little part of me always felt that it was second best.
So, a word of warning here from a very bad dog. There is a real danger here that you raise the bar to a level that you are not going to be able to match. Over the last couple of years I've taken to having threesomes - maybe 25 - 30 times - and yes it IS wonderful, the ultimate in sport sex, a great way to spend an afternoon and all that and you could make a case that everyone should have that experience. HOWEVER with the benefit of hindsight I wish that I had never started because once you get used to it it is hard to get that level of stimulation out of just one woman. Now, even though you should be blissfully happy with that one beautiful lovely woman, suddenly there is something missing and it is somehow diminished.
Really be careful before you do this.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (9 August 2009):
 I disagree with April.Cheating is when you do something behind the others back.I have never had a 3 some but my fiance is open to the idea.If it ever happens I`ve told her she gets to pick the girl.Make sure your comfortable with it or it won`t work.You can try a complete stranger or try someone you trust.Either way make sure he uses protection.A threesome is not a right to sleep with someone else outside of that one night.It is just the fulfillment or every guys fantasy.Define the rules ahead of time.Like neither of you can give her oral.If he switches partners not to use the same condom.Just be safe about it.Don`t use the same hand he played with her on you.If you trust him now there is no reason not to trust him after.Just don`t be afraid to communicate anything that is on your mind.
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A
female
reader, simply.megan +, writes (9 August 2009):
simply.megan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have gotten up his hopes on this, and honestly I'm looking forword to it too. Weither its a good idea or not is now really racking my brain since I've posted this question.
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A
female
reader, aprilfools +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Two words:HELL NO!Have you lost your mind?What if you get aids?Or he ends up being more attractive to the other chick and focuses mainly on her?And this could DEFINATELY WITH NO DOUBT screw your relationship up!Sex should be an intimate thing that is shared between TWO people. It should be a special thing. And down the road if he cheats on you and you get upset he could say "well, you've slept with another guy before" and this whole thing is probably going to make him feel like it's okay to cheat on you, being that you're acting like there's nothing wrong with it now! And that's what it is! It's cheating!THINK!
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