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Nothing I do is good enough for him!

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 April 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Please helpe me...I'm 23 and my husband 25. We've been married for almost 4yrs. He works from 7 to 3 mon.-fri.and I'm a stay @ home mom for our almost 3 year old son.and we have been living on our own house he bout for a year now. It sounds good so far right? Well we've been haveing prob. Lately. We fuss all the time and he keeps telling me that is my fault that I caint go on a day without fussing and he never takes blame for anythng he do. We barely have sex because he claims that his to tired. And I knw he aint cheating because he wrks about 20min. From home and he gets home on time everyday and everywer he goes I go we only have one car. I feel so furstraided because he always sleeping or playing his play station3 or whatching a game but never some time for me. He don't even wnt to take me out to have fun. His fun is graveing a bite and comeing home.we fuss over every little thng.I feel like he don't understand me. Like what I'm feeling. And I try talking to him all the time about my emotions but its like he aint hearing wht I'm saying.

Ex. I told him for 3 days now tht when he comes home and my baby toys in the livingroom he get upset and starts to call me lazy and tht I dnt clean up. But when its clean he don't say wow baby the house looks good. All he said to me was "so u wnt me to tell u the house loos clean?" He dnt get it I wnt him to appreciate me. And make me feel love I feel like nothng I do is good enogh for him. Help me plz I need to knw wht I need to do. I'm furstaded!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009):

He is nice to me. And he do act like he cares for me.the only prob. I have is tht he acts like a nother kid I told him several times before tht I feel like I have two boys insted of 1. My only issue is him not takeig me serious and not makeing me feel love. Like when he used to when we were dateing. He told me he has no need tht he already has me. But I told him tht I would love for him to walt throgh the door wit some flowers he said.we have to many bill to pay and I'm the only one working he tell me he has no money 4 tht. Idk I just wnt him to be there for me more than wht he is.

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A female reader, crimson_kiss United States +, writes (3 April 2009):

crimson_kiss agony auntI know this situation, listen, get some friends together, even for play dates with you and your son.

Your husband sounds like he wants a maid and mother, not a WIFE. Doesn't he help out at all? I would tell him you are doing the best you can and if he doesn't like how you do it, he can do it himself...that might shut him up!

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A female reader, happynow United States +, writes (3 April 2009):

You sound very isolated. Do you have friends that you are able to talk with? Friends can give you a better perspective on life's challenges.

If your husband knows you want his approval about the house cleaning and when you do a good job, he refuses to give it to you, what do you think that tells you about him? Does he enjoy your pain in response to his with holding? Is he kind to you? Is he tender? Are the only interactions criticisms of you?

It sounds like your whole life is built around your husband. Have you been to school? Or training? Are there things that give you joy that you can make a living at? It will give you confidence to do some things for yourself. Your son is getting old enough for pre school. Not long before Kindergarten. Do something for yourself. Live your life. Being married should not mean giving up your needs and your life.

Whatever you decide to do, think about what your current home environment is teaching your son.

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