A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and I have a problem apparently where I laugh when I'm embarrassed or surprised or even when I get hurt. I don't know why I do it I always have.So I was making out with this girl I really like. We've done that a bunch of times before and I'm almost positive we're a couple even though we can't go on real dates because of what's going on in the world. We try to do other things so she doesn't feel used.Last week we were making out when suddenly she lets out this violent sneeze. She had no clue it was going to happen. She pulled back real fast and I accidentally sliced her lip on my braces. I didn't notice because I was cracking up and trying to wipe sneeze off my face. Was it gross? A little. But it just made me laugh. All I had to do was clean up.She was not amused at all. After I realized she had been cut I apologized and tried to blot her lip but she got upset because I was so embarrassed I kept laughing. I really wasn't laughing at her. She said she wasn't mad about me cutting her a little and she was fine. She's upset because I laughed.I keep explaining that I can't help it. It was really no big deal and I didn't go telling people. She did. So I'm not sure how it's my fault our coworkers sneeze around us. So how do I get her not to be mad?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 July 2020):
 Just wanted to add, my middle daughter (17, almost 18) is like me a lot, we don't like to cry in front of people and sometimes we both have the "wrong" response to a situation.
Her BF recently broke up with her and (they were sitting in his car) she started to do little dance moves while trying to carry on the conversation. She told me later she just didn't want to sit and sob. It is VERY her to do that. (And they worked it out.)
All you can do is let her know that when YOU don't know what to do sometimes you laugh, and let's face it.... it was a kinda comical uncomfortable situation.
If she can't let it go, that is ON her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2020): It seems she's taking this personally, sadly. While it is a common reaction, an honest discussion is needed. It doesn't have to be overly serious, but a little sit-down talk to help her understand your situation would definitely help.
If you find yourself feeling safe and comfortable enough with her to express your feelings about her telling people what happened, I think that would also be a good idea. Open communication is a must in relationships, but seldom seen in favor of passive-aggressive remarks and mind games.
Sometimes, people don't understand until you explain it to them a few times or in a certain way. It just doesn't "click" until then. Also a very odd part of how the human brain works, but that's how it is, no?
As anonymous and Honeypie have said, give it a bit of time and perhaps a gift of apology! It can help get across your sincere feelings. :)
If it continues to be an issue that you yourself are unpleased with, looking for help with it is never a bad thing. But it isn't a thing you HAVE to change.
Wishing you the best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2020): It's no big deal. If you've explained to her what you've explained to us, she will understand. Perhaps not at this very moment.
I really have a bit of an issue that you are making-out at a time when infection is high in some areas of the country; and there is a rebound in the spreading of the virus.
This time it's more prominent in younger people than the last. She sneezed in your face!!! That's no laughing matter in these days and times; and you both should be minimizing your contact. If you have grandparents, and older family-members living with you, or whom you frequently visit; you can pass the virus on to them. If any of your siblings, or even your parents have asthma, diabetes, or high blood-pressure; if they get infected, it could be quite serious. People with upper-respiratory diseases will likely end-up on a ventilator if they get sick!
I'm not trying to scare you, I'm suggestion precautionary measures should be taken. It's unlikely your parents are aware of you two making-out during a pandemic; they must assume you're social-distancing. You're not!
Please...be careful. If you live in a known hot-spot area; making-out might not be safe. You don't know everybody she is exposed to; or if she always wears a mask when she should. She doesn't know if you're taking all the precautionary-measures recommended by medical experts and CDC.
Take care and be safe!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 July 2020):
Just tell her that you occasionally laugh when you are unsure. It's not an uncommon reaction.
And honestly? Wouldn't she rather you laugh at the goofy situation instead of looking at her with disgust for sneezing on your face?
You have braces, accidents happens.
My advice, buy her a little bouquet of flowers and tell I'm sorry. Then move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2020): There is nothing you can do.
This is all about her insecurities, not you. She did somethinging she finds ‘embarassing’, she feels bad about it, and is trying to make out it’s your fault. Sometimes is easier to blame or be mad at someone else then face the real reasons you feel bad.
All I can say she is in for a massive shock when she gets older if all it takes is a sneeze around her boyfriend to overly embarrass her. If she’s the same age as you, which I will be shocked if she is, then she needs to grow up a bit. She will encounter more embarrassing things with her partners than that.
Cutting her lip is unfortunate, as is sneezing on their face, but most adults would of laughed this whole situation off. It was an accident. I probably would of laughed too if someone sneezed on my face while I was kissing them. I’d hope that they would laugh too.
She was hoping that by telling your coworkers, they too would be mad at you and confirm to her that she is right in being mad at you. Instead that backfired as they see it as funny just like you did. She did that to herself.
I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. She’s insecure and there’s nothing you can do to stop her being mad. Couples need to be able to laugh with each other, otherwise you are going to find yourself walking on egg shells always around her.
Just give her a bit of time to cool off, she will eventually get over it.
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