A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you let go of your partner's crazy past? My bf is 31 now but from his late teens to his mid 20s, he was doing a lot of drugs, was partying all the time and having lots of sex with lots of different women. It was a crazy time in his life. I'm very different from him and never went through a phase like this of doing crazy stuff. I've always been well behaved, well educated and an achiever, which is why I'm now in a great place in my life while he's trying to catch up. The thing is, every time I watch a movie that involves scenes of people doing drugs, partying on ecstasy, tripping on acid or even jus stoner movies, it makes me angry. I imagine him doing it and I get mad inside. I'm not sure why. I think when we watch movies like that together, it probably reminds him of the good times he had and since I don't do drugs and I'm against them, I'm uncomfortable. I don't know how else to react. Has anyone experienced this before with a bf/gf who has a heavy drug use and crazy past?
View related questions:
drugs Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): Your values just don't match his. Don't apologize or feel guilty for that. Its not your duty to change who you are to match who is compatible with him.
You have no right to give him crap about it, but you also have no obligation to accept him for it either. If it bothers you enough then break up. There are tons of other guys who share your outlook and would LOVE to find a girl like you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 November 2012):
 So you watch movies that have nothing to do with life now and you get angry at his past from before he knew you?
You want to punish him for his past?
why? why does the fact that he did things in the past (which btw makes him the person you love now) make you so angry?
He probably had girlfriends before you too... do you get upset that he was with them? why or why not?
personally, I think if you get retroactively angry about stuff that he can't change (you can't change the past) that it is best for both of you to end the relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): The answer is simple. Either you deal with it or you dont. If you really can't get it out of your mind about his past then he is not the man for you. I honestly believe that too much detail about person's past cause these types of issues. There are really 3 things that you need to know about a person's past. Do they have a felony background. Are they a sex offender and do they have any diseases that could be passed on to you. Anything else is irrelevant in my opinion. If this continue to cause you anger, then clearly this is not the relationship for you. Best of luck.
...............................
|
