A
female
age
26-29,
*arawhore1
writes:dear cupid.theres this boy ive been crushing for about a year nownow i realise that me and him are not to be.i need to get over him.hes a badboy and im the sweet innocent girli no what hes like outside school. a low life but when im alone i always think of him.whats the best way to get overhim without getting hurt
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (8 February 2011):
You've been crushing over him for ages now. But you would like to get over him. And it's especially difficult when you are on your own?
Best way to get over him is to distract yourself with alternative activities. Towards activities that will distance you from bad boys and their friends. Towards activities where you can interact with other good people. In this regard identify some projects you could initiate and put into action or projects you could join and be a part of:
1) see if there are any school programs that need volunteers
2) see if the community is working on a worthy community project that will help others
3) see if a wise elderly relative would love you to visit and help her tidy up a cupboard, or have you do some shopping for her
4) offer to repaint your own bedroom, if your parent/s agree and rearrange or tidy aspects of the space.
5) learn how to embroider or applique (look up how on the internet) a ready made cushion to use when decorating your bedroom
Consider trying to change your hair - this one area where a change can make a big difference . Ask your Mom if you can visit the hairdressers and get your hair cut and styled into something easy to look after, but different to now.
research some career paths that you think would be interesting. So if you think you would love travel then research job requirements for jobs in tourism jobs, hotel management, marketing, tour guide, journalism, airlines. Start up a ring folder with all you find.
when you research an employment sector, rather than one specific job, then you get a broader picture of all the exciting possibilities in that career sector, and the educational qualifications
And never forget volunteer work in a sector you like. For instance if you are interested in media studies and a job in that sector you could volunteer at the University or School community run radio station - usually behind the scenes - but it's all good experience and looks good in your CV. If you do volunteer work then make sure you get an official statement on letter head from that place where the work was done and the dates you did it - start date to end date.
And keep a look out for a Good guy all the time
Bad boys are the pirates of the romance world. Mills and Boon love bad boys because this is a fantasy that sells.
Yes a fantasy. Bad boys are audacious, they push the parameters of the rules. They ignore the conventions. They make their own rules.
So initially Bad boys seem exciting. Daring. Different. A challenge
It all seems such a change to the nice boys. And some bad boys can be diamonds in some situations. Think natural disasters where they roll up their sleeves and go where others fear to tread.But if too idle they may even opportunisticly seize an opportunity - when it works it may be good. But when it's something illegal? They may try to lie themselves out of a inconvenient corner.
So being a bad boy comes at a price. Why should they care what society thinks? Why should they observe the rules?
They decide which rules they follow.
I think of bad boys as the impulsive gamblers of the world who shoot (figurately) first and ask questions later.
And when bad boys go very bad they are pain all the ways for their families, partners and others.
Imagine him losing his job because he 'lost it' at work and told the boss what he really thought? And lost his job as a result.
Imagine his escalating (unpaid) fines, for speeding, or drink driving, or worse and he needs his 'space' because he can't handle it anymore. So he leaves the state. Or disappears for various short periods and doesn't tell you where he is or when he'll be back? Leaving you to answer the door to the sherrif, who's seeking him. Or leaves the room to answer his phone, and when you ask,'who?' he claims it was 'no one'?
Or one of his girl friends turns up unannounced demanding to speak to him because she's pregnant, by him.
Imagine your visits to Court, to support him - where it is never his fault.
His fines, his warrants?
Or worse your weekly or monthly visit to see him in jail?
It's times like this that you'll be wishing you stuck with the guy with a stable steady job. His studies completed. His bills paid on time. A guy who makes plans, and follows through. Doesn't ever cheat.
Who is consistenly reliable, Who is always respectful.
'but he loves me sooooo much,' you try to convince others about your bad boy. Because bad boys are convincing con men. They lie effortlessly.
They like getting their own way. They can be mean and selfish.
And they can break your heart.
'not me, not me, he would never do that to me.'
Only time will tell - but the odds are that it will end in tears. But not before you've made a lot of excuses for him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): I really hate to be a bitch but the fact that you wrote "no" instead of "know" sums it up, you're far too young. So anyways, getting over someone is never easy. There's no easy way. Try and look for some nice more well put together guys.
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