A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm so insecure, it's really bad. I cant give people eye contact because I'm so scared they're gonna judge my face. I know they do it anyways but im scared of what they think, even though I know I should'nt.For example ,I really wanna talk to this guy but I can't because im really scared to look at him or into his eyes. And he keeps giving me signals to approach him but I'm so afraid he's going to think im ugly and that im gonna scare him away. I know I sound pathetic but these are my feelings and I can't seem to control them.How do I get over my insecurities and say "hi" to this guy:)Thanks!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 Well, what do you know! I see you're 13-15 years old.
When I was exactly the age you are now, I was PAINFULLY shy. I'm twice your age now, and people are shocked when I tell them this, because I'm the last person anyone would suspect of being shy. I've played the guitar and sung songs I wrote in front of hundreds of people and I've gone off to live in a foreign country on my own three times. In spite of all this, I used to be too shy to look at people and speak to them. People thought I was stuck up but I was just too shy to talk.
You're not pathetic, you just need to overcome your shyness. The way to do that is to find yourself... and you will.
In my case, the catalyst was finding myself. When I picked up the guitar, I had a sense of identity for the first time in my life. I started practicing and writing songs.
I was painfully shy and thought I was ugly but when I started playing the guitar I forgot about all that baggage because I could be myself, for once.
I think you should try your hand at different hobbies and interests... we're ALL good at something, usually what you love is a big clue. It just takes time to develop the natural talent you have.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 It might work for you to dress up and go beyond what you would usually do for your look. Give yourself a good reason why you look good because I'm sure that you are shy but not unattractive. He probably notices you already and once you go say hi to him you will realize that it isn't such a big deal.
I have some friends who can't take eye contact and unless you make a conscious effort to work on it, it won't go away on its own.
Good luck to you and I hope he is what you hope for.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (30 March 2010):
Ms you do not nor are you in any way pathetic, so no more talk like that. You are a youn lady learning about life and its strange ways.
How do you brooch this subject. You must either 'fight or flight', fight take a deep breath and go and talk to him about, class, easter, social or anything that comes into your mind. Flight and you will stay on the edge unless he has realy noticed you.
You are not ugly and it does not mean if he does not respond he does not like you it is just the way we blokes are-posing and passing by more often. then of course he might be scared of you.
Trust me we have all done it sometime even me at 58, I have had to do it a few times in the last month, it is never easy, it may never be easy but until you ask and have done so a few times, it is awkward.
At your age you should think of doing Amdram as it will give soooooo much confidence and you would love it. Then the boys will be coming to you always.
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