A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am struggling to get over my ex, we were together over 2 years. He squashed my self worth and lied so much that in the end I had no choice but to leave.The problem is I am extremely bitter! I'm full of anger, hurt and sadness when I think about what he put me through.I keep blocking out the happy memories that I have of us together to torture myself but then at the same time I keep blocking out the angry thoughts because I'm scared of facing up to them...I don't know what to let myself think or feel.I guess I'm not making much sense but hopefully somebody who's been through this can offer some advice. Right now I'm seething with anger thinking about all the lies and deceit, is this normal to think this way? Will it help in the healing process? My aim is to be over him in the next 3months but right now I don't see that happening as I'm so full of rage and hurt.
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female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (20 June 2011):
I think it is absolutely normal to feel like this! We have all been there...It's just one of the 'cycles of emotions' you go through.
Then one day you just think f*ck it, I will NOT allow someone else to take up so much of my time with hatred/anger (Because they really don't deserve you time/energy/thoughts)
When you get to that point, you will know you are over them, but it takes a while. Bitterness and anger only hurts you (not them), and when you get to the point you realise this, you will not want to give them that power anymore.
You are better that that. The best way to get over someone is to live the best life you can, and be happy. ;-)
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 I tend to look back on the men I have left or avoided or just plain ignored over the years. Then I relate it to the simple fact that this man is not into me. I leave my ego out of it, thus no real hurt because then it's all just facts, just reality, no inner child baggage emotional stress can stand a chance to pure facts. Rage is a sign that the ego has gotten the upper hand. It then becomes all about the need to be wanted and that's a question that needs to be asked to yourself not to this person. Why fight for the right for someone's approval where it will never be attained? That is not an outward war, that war is an internal one, one that needs to be addressed on it's own solo mission, others have zero to do with this issue.
In the meanwhile, if it helps remember the last fight you had with a friend, a sister or brother a neighbour or worker. Do you dwell on these rifts? No, not for long because what you say to yourself about these arguments is "I don't care what they think what they say or what they do"
and that is how you should approach this or any break up.
And if that doesn't help, get stupid, get stupid real fast.
Like you are a total moron with an IQ of about 3.
What boyfriend? Do I have a friend? I can't find my tooth brush. Do you like pizza.
How does this help, well for one it's kind of funny and the other reason is because it turns off "Ego Central" allowing you to do what all stupid people do, that being nothing.
Actually I think guys do this with fantastic almost effortless success. Take point in their lesson.
Also avoid putting a date to when your mind will be over this RS. Instead say to yourself, "Every moment I think of him, I am stopping that guy over there from looking over here"
I've been in and out and in and out of love with so many men in my time that not only do the goodbyes get easier I can actually love easier because there is no fear of leaving, which puts me in a perfect place for love, romance and well just being happy and open and without regret or meanness towards all of mankind. It's all very zen now, I can detach myself with compassion on a dime. Life is there in the moment and I pay attention to those around me in a flash of an eye in that precious moment. Sometimes life is spent loving a tree or a child or a good book or online with a stranger. All that energy is here at this moment nothing else exists at this time. I get through life this way and it brings special rewards with many people and things. I think I could base most of my life on the fact I spend my deepest times in the moment than thinking about tomorrow. Take this moment to know you did.
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A
female
reader, SMARTERthaniappear  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 I am in the same situation. My ex lied to me soo much over things that weren't imporant whats soo ever. Eventually I called it quits after chance #3. We were together for 4 years and he's left me with anger and sadness as well so it is definetly normal for you to be feeling this way. You've put so much effort into a relationship that he didn't even take seriously. He made you waste your time and lose out on your chance to meet guys that could be possible boyfriends. As for the healing process, continue to block out the happy memories of him but evaluate on how he hurt you emotionally. Don't dwell on it though or think of it in a negative way . Instead think of it as a learning lesson of what to avoid and look for in a boyfriend. I know it's easier said than done as I am in your same situation but you've got to stay strong. Don't close yourself off from future boyfriends like I did. I missed out on someone great =( Keep your heart open and eventually you'll find a trustworthy guy that can fill the hole in your heart =)I wish you the best!
HOPE I HELPED ^.^
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