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How do I get over and out of this? I'm 16. He's 30 and I fancy him, but I don't want to.

Tagged as: Age differences, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 May 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey,

i know you may think i'm a kid but all the same i need help with this all the same.

last week i stayed with my boss for the week to do this training/boot camp thing. he offered that i stay with him so that i can do it. in fact he was very eager for me to do the boot camp in the first place.

anyway, since then i've fancied him. i've always noticed that he's good looking but i've never really fancied him at all. i really want to be close to him but i know i can't (i'm 16 and he's 30)

ever since i've stayed with him, gotten to know him, i've fancied him and i don't want to. i don't want to because i cannot act upon it with good conscience. if anyone can offer any advice to stop me fancying him it would be much appreciated.

i can't stay away from him because of the fact that i'm doing an apprenticeship, and next term he's teaching at a school i'm going to(purely coincidental, i didn't know he worked at the school i'm going to)

any help would be much appreciated.

anon xx

View related questions: my boss

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011):

Yes, crush are normal but if you allow your crush to lead you, HE will be in big trouble. Just be careful.

If your "good conscience" is saying don't, then listen to it. It will save you and him from getting fired.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hehe, thankyou for your advice it is very appreciated. it is nice to see some advice that lets me have this crush. i've read other questions similar and they've all said to remove yourself from the situation, that a crush is something to be abhorred, while you make it something to be enjoyed.

thankyou for that.

anon xx

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (25 April 2011):

cupidus agony auntI warned you about this during your stay at his place with his wife!

I hope it's all coming from you and not him. I hope he hasn't given you any small signals of affection as if he was grooming you. I hope you think about that.

Sure crushes happen but no you may never act on this one.

He is married, you are young, I think you see him as a mentor and we can fall hard for mentors out of respect, admiration and of course that they spend one on one time with us, making us feel particularly special.

If his intentions have been honest than all is well.

In the meantime use those mentoring skills to help yourself develop those characteristics that you admire and share with those who may need your assistance.

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A female reader, cardinal United States +, writes (25 April 2011):

cardinal agony auntHey...so it sounds like you got a bit of a crush!

Think of the reality of it. Does he seem to like you? Are you two very close, like best friends? Would it be proper for you to tell him how you feel?

Crushes come and go. Its not wrong for you to like a guy thats 30. Hey, my bf is 30 years older and I'm 17. Things will work out for ya! Good luck and toodles

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (25 April 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntJust enjoy the feelings of this major crush. You can fantasise to your hearts content over him, and you will. But don't let him know you feel this way. Try and be mature. You have to, your career obviously is to be considered, as well as his. His being good looking, and a nice person who has taken an interest in you, are powerful reasons for a 16 year old to get a crush.

Crushes are wonderful, and I am sure this won't be your last. Just enjoy it for what it is, don't try to take things further, and nobody gets hurt. Behave now girl!

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