A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my girlfriend to move things along a little faster already? I've known her since 3rd grade but I wasn't friends with her. We had nothing in common and I was only interested in really pretty girls who were out of my league. We met up last year and we hung out a lot and her friends said she really liked me but she was really shy and nervous and didn't know how to flirt or do herself up. I got to talking to her some more and finally just asked her to go to the 8th grade graduation dance and we danced really close the whole time but she kept going to the bathroom and drinking sprite and eating cookies and she would not shut up. She went off and called her parents and they picked her up. She blew everything WAY out of proportion and basically got be accused of "pawing her" at the dance. We talked again at a few parties her friends invited us to and she got really embarrassed and said she was sorry and she didn't like "doing things" in front of people. So I told her friends and they just made excuses here and there to get us alone so we could at least kiss but she said that it's moving too fast for her. I told her we'd been dating for six months and we should at least be making out. Her friends have asked over and over if she's gay or something and she swears she's not. So what's going on? She acts like she likes me by flirting and snuggling up when we're alone but she avoids getting close to me unless I'm talking to anther girl. Then she accused me of "cheating" because flirting is cheating. What gives?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015): Sounds like your girlfriend isn't ready to do anything physical past cuddling and flirting. And at the dance, well, you said she was shy and nervous so talking the whole time was probably a nervous reaction. She said she was uncomfortable doing things in public and she has the right to say that without apology. I have no idea if you were "pawing" her or not, it sounds like you really need to HAVE a talk. Ask her: What ARE you OK with alone or with friends? Tell her: take the lead, show me what is OK with you.I would never call flirting cheating, if that's all she's willing to do, then she feels you should only flirt with her alone. Bottom line: she's not really ready to have a boyfriend.Remember, her FRIENDS are the ones who said she liked you. Her FRIENDS are the ones trying to get you and her alone so you can make out more. And ... I wish I could tell YOUR GIRLFRIEND this: Her "friends" are making fun of her and talking about her behind her back because she's not "cooperating" with dating you. What kind of people are those girls anyway?Ask her: Are you really ready for a boyfriend?Tell her: You would NEVER pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to, but you want to go further (physically) and if she doesn't want to, you're not on the same page. There's nothing wrong with where she is by any means, but what on earth is wrong with just flirting and cuddling anyway? My own son is around your age and although I was pretty sexually active young, I'd hate for him to be!
A
female
reader, BloggerChick  +, writes (10 December 2015):
 Hey there. The thing with girls like this is that they can't be rush into things, otherwise they get scattered and basically shut down.From what you said "she avoids getting close to me unless I'm talking to another girl", I don't think she's emotionally or physically ready for relationships/dating yet, since she hasn't wanted to kiss you yet and gets jealous easily. Also maybe she feels too young to be in a relationship and doing physically intimate things like kissing, or more. If you are the first guy she's dated she might be taking it slow intentionally to see if you to actually click, which is a good thing to do before rushing into anything. Finally, like you mentioned, if she's a typically shy girl she will most likely be scared to do more than just hug just because...Basically, I think you just need to talk to her and find out what she actually wants and when she wants it. Take it from there instead of possibly forcing her into things that she isn't ready for.
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