A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When my boyfriend tried to help with some clearing up my mom was icredibly rude to him instead of just saying no thanks. My sister is also sort of rude and sarcastic when she speaks to him, and the attitude seems to have rubbed off on her husband and son.He always offers to help with clearing up after dinner or even preparation and they just put him down.They don't seem to have any respect for him.He's a nice guy, excellent manners but not wealthy and my family are all well off except me, they see me as a sort of "poor rebel" because I'm not into the corporate game and I work with the poor/homeless. The only other thing I can think of is that he is divorced (a taboo in the family) and that I went through a very difficult time when he moved to another job in a different town a year ago. Maybe they blame him for my distress.How do I get them to show him the same respect that the other men in the family get?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 December 2011):
 you can't make them treat him properly but you can distance yourself from them
basically if it comes down to it and it was me I would tell my family
"this is my partner. he is to be treated with the same respect as every other member of this family if you cannot do so we will not be able to spend time with you"
and then do that
family is who you choose to be with in my book
relatives are who you are related to.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (29 December 2011):
If your boyfriend is truly a good person and he makes you happy, it shouldn't matter what your family's opinion is. Most of the time, your family should have your best interest at heart, but in this case it sounds like they have little reason behind their rudeness.
Its time to have a heart to heart with them and explain how this is making you feel.
It sounds to me like your family has little concern for what actually makes you happy and instead what reflects on their own social status. If they really put you down for using your time to work with the poor, they do NOT have your best interest at heart and are only looking out for themselves. I'm very sorry you have to deal with this; family members are supposed to be supportive no matter what.
After explaining yourself, if they don't take you seriously and continue to mistreat your boyfriend, don't be afraid to excommunicate them from your life for a while. I hate to see families in feuds or separated due to these sorts of things, but in the end, you need to do what is right for you and if your family doesn't support that, you are better off finding a new group of people in your life who will.
Best of luck.
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