A
female
age
36-40,
*SMERALDA4
writes:Hey , so iv been seeing this guy. He's been my friend since 4 years but we started makingout a year back. The problem is that hes just so cold all the time. I dont want him to commit or be my bf , but at least a real friend.. He never tells me anything nice about me or talks about his emotions..He only calls once a week and visits in 1 or 2 mths but never tells me he misses me. Hes also the first guy i ever slept with.... How do i get him to be more sensitive and stop bein such a stud?Also my parents dont let me go out with any other guys ,hes the only one im allowedwith . Iv moved to this new area where i havnt found any other nice guys anyway ,so realy this guys all i got.. How do i get this guy to be into me emotionaly and not just physicaly ...at least till i find some1 else? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ESMERALDA4 +, writes (5 February 2009):
ESMERALDA4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow thanks for opening me up on this. The whole time i thought i was being nice i was just being conveniant.. I feel enlightened not only because im going to be clearin out this mess but wont repeat the same mistakes again.... Il cutout the sex even if i miss it and be less avaiable .If theres anything in it for him still he'l stay or else leave. Eitherway i always knew theres something extraordinary out there for me. .. Thanx 4 making me remember that once again:)
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 Listen up hunny and let me tell you something. Women cannot have sex without risking some emotion and men can have sex without emotion. You call him a sex buddy and he obviously gives you a sex life but now your asking for more and I can tell you this man will never see it your way!!!
Having sex with him won't draw him closer to you, in fact it could make him see you as more of an object rather than a person. He will think 'Ok she has sex with me and I dont have to, or need to get attached...because she is having sex with me, she must be ok with it'...end of story
Your having sex with him thinking 'Ok I'm giving him what he wants, why isn't he nicer to me and closer to me and warmer to me?' He isn't because he doesn't have to. Your fulfilling his basic instinct needs and he can wipe his feet on the welcome mat on the way out.
Do as the other Aunt says STOP HAVING SEX!!! and don't even think you will get a reaction from him apart from maybe a slight complaint as he will soon find another woman to have sex with.
Just walk away and never do this to yourself again. Another man will come along in time and you can move on.
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A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (5 February 2009):
don't be available when he wants to see you, pretend to be busy- he is taking you for granted. and stop having sex with him
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