A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 24 year old male and my partner is a 21 year old female.Recently ive been extremely frustrated by the lack of sex in my 6 year relationship.I have a very healthy desire for sex, so much so I would have it everyday if I could. However im lucky to get it once a week and I have to instigate it.I love my girlfriend very much but at times am very frustrated.Whats the average amount of sex a couple should enjoy?What advice would you give me to revive her sex drive which was there at the beginning of our relationship?Look forward to your reply.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 I've been in my relationship (he's 26 and I'm 22) for 3 and a half years. Over those years, the average has shifted around. Sometimes once a week, sometimes 3-4 times a week... in the first year, it was like 3-4 times a DAY.
It can switch around. All couples are completely different in their sexual habits. Some save their sex for one big blowout a week, or month. Some can't get enough and love to have sex every day. Most couples, though, get into a nice groove that they both feel good about. You and your girl are on two different pages.
Once a week sounds pretty good to me, to be honest. But if you love her and want to make this work, try talking to her about what turns her on and what will get her more excited about your sex. Focus more on her in and around the bedroom. She might need more foreplay, more kissing. She may need more help around the house or more compliments. Maybe offer her a massage - that's what always works on me. Give me a massage and you'll be getting lucky.
Find out what she's missing from your sex life. Try to be as open as you can, it's often hard for women to talk about these kind of things.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (5 February 2009):
 There is no average amount of sex a couple should enjoy. Each couple is different. But when one party is not satisfied, there is a problem.
Discuss it with her. Perhaps something's bothering her. You don't say whether her lack of sex-drive has existed since the beginning of your relationship or if it's recent.
Sex is an important part of a relationship and you're both still young.
As much as you love her, you can't be expected to live without sex. I'm sorry to say this, but if she won't discuss it with you, you'll just have to move on.
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