A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Okay so a few weeks ago my boyfriend of eight and a half weeks told me that he loved me but didnt have romantic feelings for me anymore. He said he would try his hardest to get them back. Now, three weeks later he broke up with me. The other day he told me that he had been talking to his ex that he dated for 8 months before me and that he knew he still had some feelings for her as his first love. Today when we broke up he said that he didn't need to be in a relationship and that he loved me very much and was so sorry and that he just didn't feel right dating me with no romantic feelings. Also that he wanted to be able to hang out with his ex who has was his really good friend for a long time without feeling guilty. He also said he wanted us to be friends and that he thought the only way for romantic feelings to ever come back was by remaining friends, but for me not to just sit around waiting for him. Ive been pretty torn up because not only have we been boyfriend and girlfriend but best friends too, we've done everything together. When he left he said he would call me tomorrow and see how I was doing and that he would be in touch. Its obvious that he doesnt want to lose me as a friend but really isnt in love with me anymore. I really do believe that we should be together, and that if he had those feelings once he can have them again. What should I do right now in terms of getting him back or at least staying friends with him and eventually getting him to want me back?? I know it can happen and he said that he knew if he really tried it could happen too but that he doesnt want to try, even though he loves and cares about me. He's also seemed kind of depressed and stuff lately, just for more information.
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, depressed, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 December 2010):
I'm afraid he has made the situation clear towards you. He loves you as a friend, but not as a lover. He even gave it time and really tried to make it work out. And he simply couldn't.
I'm afraid that there is nothing you can do to make him feel differently. You can't make someone else feel something they don't. You can't make him fall in love with you, if he couldn't do it himself. There are thousands of people who have tried to make people feel something, and it just doesn't work.
This is very much a case of you moving on from him. His feelings are clear, and I think he is now trying to save you from more pain. Please listen to what he has said, and respect that he simply doesn't feel the same way anymore. If you want to stay friends, then do if you think you can handle it. But it won't lead anywhere.
|
