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How do I get him to prove he's been cheating on me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 November 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. I was tidying his room today and found a reciept for a hotel room from 2 weeks ago, 6 Nov 10. The hotel is in the city centre which is about 10 minutes from his house so I know he wouldn't have stayed there after a night out with friends, and he would have told me if he had. Plus that night he had been in the pub round the corner from his house so was nowhere near this hotel.

The only thing I can think is he left the pub and went to meet someone at the hotel as the time on the receipt is 00.38. Just wanted to get some ideas on possible explanations (even though I doubt there are any!) before I confront him about it. My boyfriend is away for the weekend and keeps phoning and texting but I just can't bear to make contact with him with this thought hanging over me!

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (23 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntHe shouldn't have lied to you about who he was texting and the fact that he was trying to hide it from you is a little suspicious, but he told you that he had went to meet her and that's def a good thing.

Just confront him about it and don't be accusatory. If you think he is lying or you know he is lying, you need to decide what you are going to do if he is cheating on you. I don't think he is, at least he doesn't sound like it. It could have been a really old friend, or a relative came to town? Idk. Ask him or you will never know. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010):

Yes I think he is cheating. Before you show him the evidence do some probing: ask some so called innocent questions, tell him someone saw him in that area on that night- basically so called harmless questions , and then u show him the evidence.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He lives with a friend who knows me very well so he wouldn't be able to take anyone back to his. And it can't have been anyone elses receipt as it was his card number on it.

I was tidying his room as we had been out to a party the night before and I stayed at his but he left early hours of the morning, I wasn't purposely snooping!

The only other reason I have to think it is a while ago a girl he knew from school got back intouch, she has had a baby, her man left her, and one night he went round to see her but told me straight out so I had no reason to worry. She has been texting him alot and one night he was constantly getting messages so I just said as a joke your popular tonight and he said yeh it mates asking about the weekend, but then I saw this same girls name on the screen. When I asked him about that he said he thought I might get abit funny with her texting him all the time, but I told him I knew they were friends and would rather just know it was her than been lied to.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (21 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntAsk him about it and usually you can tell when they are lying. Make a decision before you confront him about what you are going to do if he is cheating, are you going to break up with him or try to make it work?

I would ask him. Is there any other reason that you think he is cheating?

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2010):

AskEve agony auntYou come straight out and ask him about it... simple! There could be a very simple explanation for it. Why put yourself through all of this turmoil when all you need to do is ask him. You'll be able to tell by his reactions and body language whether or not he's telling the truth.

~Eve~

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (20 November 2010):

chigirl agony auntWhy would he take his side spring to a hotel though? If he lives in the neighbourhood and don't live together with you? Perhaps afraid to leave evidence?

Ask him about it... But is this your only reason to suspect he is cheating? If you never suspected anything earlier, why now, after this hotel receipt alone? It's thin ice to suspect something without more to base the suspicion on.

Why do you want to test your boyfriend anyhow? If you don't trust him then it is better to just leave him, otherwise you will always be on the lookout for possible cheating-behaviour, and that won't leave you happy.

I think if this bill is all you base your suspicions on you should simply ask him about it. If the explanation is a good one and you setlle with it, then move on from this. If the explanation is poor.. perhaps it's time to leave. Proof or no proof. A suspicion alone can be enough to end a relationship.

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A female reader, VictoriaAnnalise United States +, writes (20 November 2010):

Lets see: At a pub, left the pub, the pub is close to his house yet the hotel receipt is for 12:38 am

Maybe he picked up someones receipt by mistake at the bar, or some girl gave him the receipt trying to lure him there. His credit card paid for it? Maybe it was a friends receipt that fell from the friends pocket while visiting you man. There are several logical answers but are you supposed to be cleaning his room? While he is out of town? Anyway, if he was unaccounted for that night and you question him, he is going to tell you a lie if he was there, and you probably wouldn't believe the truth if he told you right now. Best you can do is chose to trust him or somehow bring up the receipt. Like maybe "I was cleaning your room and found a few receipts and was wondering if you need them for work, taxes or whatnot. Where do you want me to put them so they dont get lost."

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