A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is 18 and im 19 and she is very introverted and never really talks about her problems to me or anyone for that matter. I wish she would open up to me more so I can help her out because she is going through alot right now. She also will never come up to me and kiss me or hug me but anytime I kiss or hug her she gives a passionate one back. I told her that I love her awhile back and at the time she said that she didnt know if she felt the same but rrecently she said that she is starting to love me so I know our relationship is fine. How do I get her to be more open with her feelings for me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Introverts can't be converted into extraverts, any more than an extravert can be converted into an introvert. You might find having your Myers-Briggs profiles done very useful, as it tells you how people approach the world and social and work interactions.
The company I was working for at the time gave us all these tests and then taught us about how to best interact with each other.
There are websites out there that will let you do a shorter version for free and then you two can spend some good communicating time together figuring out how the other processes information, makes decisions, recharges the batteries and prioritizes. It's fun and very useful. I highly recommend it!
Let me see if I can find you a link.
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html
There's a start. I was looking for a free site, there a bunch targeted at companies that charge a fee.
In the meantime, just know that by choosing to be with you, she is revealing a great deal about herself and you should recognize that and appreciate it. Tell her you appreciate it.
Let her get more comfortable, talk to her about how she approaches life, rather than her problems right now. Maybe she can tell you her thought processes and this will help you to understand her better.
Good luck and I think you sound like a wonderful boyfriend.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Yeah, this is still a new relationship. With introverts, it can take a long time to truly feel completely comfortable. It's not you - it's just how she is with people. She must care about you an awful lot to say she's starting to love you. Don't put pressure on her or your relationship, you'll get there when you get there and she'll open up in time.
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A
female
reader, brklynsis81 +, writes (29 April 2010):
 In my opinion, 8 months of friendship, 3 romantic is still pretty early. Give her space and time to come to terms with her feelings on her own timeline. If this is too difficult for you, you should end the relationship because it is only a sign of things to come.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have been very good friends and we have been talking nearly every day for over a year and a half and when we started talking we both remained faithful to eachother because we knew we would end up dating. officailly we have been together for just over 3 months but really we have been together for around 8 months.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 April 2010):
How long have you been together? I would simply give this one more time. Maybe she just needs more time than the average person to warm up and get comfortable. So, the less pressure you put on her, the better. I know introverts, and they work by their own timeline. So, don't worry about it and relax for awhile. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, brklynsis81 +, writes (27 April 2010):
My instinct is to tell you that if she is unable to communicate her feelings with you, your relationship will have problems down the road. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to "make" her be more open. Continue reinforcing that you are ready and willing to listen. Whether or not she communicates it verbally, I'm sure she appreciates having a person in her life who cares for her and wants to help her out through tough times. I do think she will need to work on her ability to share her feelings if she wants to have lasting, meaningful relationships but she may have some issues to work out on her own before she can do that.
You also don't mention how long you've been together... it might just be that she is afraid to move to quickly into a serious relationship. The only way to know for sure will be to talk to her about it.
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A
female
reader, Sanita  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Give her time. People choose to be introverts and they do so for various reasons, i.e, they were abused, physically or otherwise,raped, molested, have low self-estem among
other reasons. All in all there is a reason behind her behaviour-she being an introvert. Just give her some time and space and when she is comfortable or has warmed up to you she'll be more oponed to you. Remember it took her awhile to admit that she thinks she's inlove with you, similarly its going take her awhile or sometime to be open with you.
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