A
female
age
16-17,
AbbeyLouise
writes:Hi, i have a problem, im 16 years old and i dont know anything about my birth father. not even a name. im not adopted. i try to ask my family especially my mum but they just seem to go quiet and change the subject. all i want in my life is to know who my birth father is, i dont want a wedding without my dad, i dont want my kids to grow up without knowing a grandad. please help i have been crying my self to sleep more often just thinkin of what he could be like.please if anyone could help i would be over the moonxxx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): i know you how you feel my name is bill and im 48 years old i have been looking all my life but wheen i get close i hit a bump and start all over agin dont get you hopes up just belive in your self and be who you are i wish you lost of luck billy
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (22 July 2008):
Check your birth certificate. His name might be on there.
If it's not then your mum may have a good reason for not telling you who he is. He could have been a bad person and she could be trying to protect you. However you are getting old enough to understand these bad things. Ask her again in a quiet moment, tell her you don't want to upset her and you love her, but you really want to know why he's not in your life. If you ask for the reason you don't know she might open up about it and then you may be able to find more details for yourself. Stay calm with her and be understanding if she gets upset.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (22 July 2008):
 Well ... there are so many reasons for your family responding the way that they are ...
it might be their own feelings of embarrassment because he was a jerk and your mom can't believe that she was so gullible ...
it might be because your parents parted company in a real hurtful way for your mom and the conversation tears her heart ...
it might be because they want to protect you from him for some reason ...
and about a thousand other reasons ...
my point is this: talk to your mom alone and tell her that you are not trying to hurt her but that no matter what her relationship was with your dad, it was hers ... and you would like the opportunity to have yours ...
if she is uncooperative for any reason, I think you should just keep quiet ... she might be trying to protect you in some way, you know ... moms are like that
My friend found his birth parents fairly quickly, after becoming an adult and moving out on his own ... through the internet. If your dad is not hiding, he can probably be found.
I can't pretend I know your curiosity and frustration. I can imagine it and understand it, sure ... but unless someone has been in your situation, they really don't know what it is that you are feeling and thinking. So, I am not dismissing your request at all ... I just know, from experience, that often times when we get what we want ... it hurts ...
Good luck
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