A
female
age
51-59,
*lex
writes:after 20yrs of marriage i now know my husband had an impotency problem he hid it from me making excuses all the time, i beleived his excuse----how to deal with this please tell me how to deal with this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): Are you saying that he has had an impotency problem that he has hidden from you throughout your marriage?
Or are you saying that you have been married for 20 years and he has developed an impotency problem more recently?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 July 2014):
 I agree with So Very Confused.
If you married in a faith that has rules about disclosing pre-existing conditions, then appeal to your religious advisor. (I am under the impression that someone marrying in the Catholic fate would have to disclose this kind of thing before marriage and it would be grounds for annulment.)
Flex, why are you writing this question now, after 20 years? Wouldn't this have been a concern just a few years into the marriage?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2014):
 not a lot to go on here.
choices:
take a lover WITH PERMISSION of your husband
divorce him
you've lived with it for 20 years, keep living with it.
Not sure what else we can say or do to help.
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