A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think I am having problems moving on after a divorce of a year now. I have dreams about my ex in which I'm usually just trying to chat with her in a private place to see what's going on in her life. Other times the dreams are me missing things from my past, like the home we shared or people we knew together or a song we loved. The dreams sometimes coincide with when I don't have my son, who I share custody with. It's like he, being a part of her, makes me not miss her so much...if I am even missing her. Sometimes the dreams coincide with when I go to a place I once went with my ex (hard to avoid, since we still live in the same town).Generally, when I have these dreams, I wake up, tie into reality somehow (check E-mails, call someone, get on the internet, etc) and I'm OK. But I think I still harbor many longings for my ex and the life I had, which is so much more empty than it was.Not sure what to do. Reconciling is not an option, and I honestly know it wouldn't work anyway. So why can't I convince my subconscious of that?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2012): Have you tried some meditation before you go to bed?
I know in my case, that I sleep very soundly if I have done so and I also have a lot more control over my thoughts and not reacting to those that create emotional reactions.. eventually those memories become uncharged, until they are mere passing thoughts and they disappear altogether.
goodluck
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (19 March 2012):
 Your subconcious goes into overdrive while your sleeping... sometimes the brain is rewiring while you sleep, so what happens is that "old stuff" gets churned up, while the rewiring process goes on.
As long as the dreams are not upsetting than its ok to just accept them for what they are... a marriage long over... see them as just dreams and not a reflection of your current life/feelings for her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 March 2012):
 Dreams are not a reflection of reality. Don't be alarmed that you still dream of your ex. Dreams can be a way of healing and discharging the past. You should feel unburdened that a part of you has left your body, instead of thinking it's still stuck with you.
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