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How do I act in front of my crush?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2022) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2022)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Okay so I have a crush on this boy. He is very extremely cute and I can't stop thinking about him!!! And it's like love at first sight!!! I think having a boyfriend or a relationship at age 10-11 is not the right age (it might be). But he has a girlfriend already... In my school there is only about 3-5 pairs of girlfriends and boyfriends. So I don't really think having a boyfriend at that age is that BIG of a deal..So yeah...pls tell me what to do and how I should react to him when he is near me. Tbh, I sometimes just give out that I like him without knowing (with my words and actions). Pls tell me how to act when around him. Thanks!!!

View related questions: crush, has a girlfriend

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A female reader, Jacie United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2022):

Jacie agony auntI dated someone at age 11 for about 10 months- he was one of my best friends and when we broke up we stopped being friends and didnt talk much after.

I was in a rush to grow up,and it sounds like you are too.

I regret it now. Even if you start dating there is no garentee that your feelings will remain at your age. If you really like him, become friends with him and wait until your older.

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A female reader, !!anonyma!! United States +, writes (17 March 2022):

!!anonyma!! agony auntI have to tell you this, you don't even know what you are talking about. Tbh at your age I had a lot of crushes and they never lasted. And gw they are all my really close friends now. So the stories goes like this I used to go to school and if I saw any cute boy who I never saw before and they seemed nice, I started liking them. But gw in reality I just wanted to be their friends. When we see a new person we always try to make friends with them and it is normal. Every time we see someone who is the same gender as us we feel nothing but want to make friends with them if we are not gay. But we always make the mistake to check other genders out. I mean I used to see new girls I thought nothing about them and just made friends and when I used to see any boy I used to think how cute they are and bam! But it never lasts. Because every time we spend a lot of time with them, see how different they are then you thought they were or you just start seeing you never really liked them. Because when you see a girl you know you just want to be friends but when you see a boy you think oh wow this is a boy and that you actually want to be their friends come out as you want them to be your boyfriend instead which is just your brain tricking you. And that is why relationships at that age never lasts long because we are just immature and don't really know what we are doing.

And see.. you look like you don't really understand what is going on in anyway you are like idc about anything and it won't hurt to have a bf at this age and you even mentioned he has a gf. Now you look like a bf stealer to me. You don't even see that he has a gf means he likes her and not you and he isn't even making an effort to do anything or is he? But in any case you should stay away from him because he has a gf and you don't want some random girls to steal your bf from you so consider her side a bit. And now if you tell me that you like him too then listen he is not yours because he has gf. You should just be friends with him. And even if things work out later I doubt that things between you guys will last cuz you look like too immature even for your age. And as you grow up you will see what is love and what is not because what you are talking about is not love it is just attraction or infatuation like I said before. It will fade away in time. Would you still like him if he killed someone? Obviously no right? see..... It is not love it is just a really little crush! it will never last! So wait until you experience more and see what is right and what is wrong.

And now answer this questions, does he look like he likes you? Does he make any effort to do something nice for you going out of his way? Does it look like he is ditching his gf just to be near you? Or any other strong things like making long eye contacts? Or is it the other way around? Is it only you who's doing all this and he just looks like he is just going with the flow? If you see the answers are positive than you can rethink it but if no just forget it and move on. But still he has a gf...

And as you asked earlier how should you act around him. Just act normal and like he is just a friend nothing else so you will never find it hard to interact with him. and by the questions in above if it looks like he is interested you can be a bit more friendly toward him but if not just except the reality! Good luck! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2022):

You are not 18-21 OP! You are acting like a pre pubescent little girl with a crush on some celebrity. Not even a real person!

First of all, there is more to life than this boy. Second of all, there is more to you than this boy. The problem with young girls these days is they give all their power away to immature little boys who use it to their advantage. A few kinds words here and there, some nice gestures and being helpful or attentive and the girls eat it all up and think the guy is in love with them. Not so fast. These guys are what we call PLAYERS. They do and say everything right just so their egos can get boosted, or better yet, so they can get you into bed and then boast to all their buddies. In the end, you will be made a fool of and be heart broken while they leave you in the dust and they are saying and doing the same nice things to other girls too. And those girls will also think they are special and that the guy loves them. NO, NO and NO.

Once you are older and wiser and get burned by one of these clowns, you will not allow them to do that to you ever again. You will learn to control yourself and your emotions. You will learn to have self respect and self confidence and not rely on boys to make you feel better about who you are. Who you are has nothing to do with boys. And self respect and self worth comes from within. And that means staying in your lane and not doing anything you would not want done to you.

These boys are just human like you. Stop, please stop putting them on a pedestal and worshipping them. They don't belong there. They are not who you make them out to be in your head. You are making them into a person they are not in your fantasy. Life is not a fantasy. In real life, this boy has a girlfriend. It does not matter how old he is. His girlfriend loves him and that is all you need to know. It is not your right or your place to decide what is best for them. You do not belong in the picture so stay away from him. I can see you being very hurt when your fantasy comes crashing down. You sound immature, thoughtless, selfish and way out of touch with reality.

I suggest you distance yourself and keep busy with other friends, school or hobbies. You are much to young to drag yourself down with one little boy who is not even available to ruin your future. Boys are not the be all and end all. Sadly so many girls get trapped by them. Wanting to be pretty or loved or prettier than the others and be the chosen one. That never lasts. That feeling is fleeting. And very shallow. Meaningless. And then you get hurt. And wish you never laid eyes on them. In fact, you will end up asking yourself what the heck did I ever see in that little weasel and LAUGH!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2022):

At around 10 or 11, if we like a girl or a boy, it's because there is something about the way they look, or act that makes us just want to be their friend. We want to talk to them, and we want their attention.

The more we think about them, the more we think we like them. The crush grows inside our heads; because we don't know how to express our feelings outwardly until we get a little older.

At your age, your feelings don't really have a lot of meaning; you simply think he's so cute you can't stand it. I hope you put as much time into studying as you do daydreaming about boys. Girls your age get all tangled-up in crushes; while boys don't have a clue.

If he likes you, he'll show you or say it. If he just looks at you, he doesn't want you to know what he's thinking, he'd rather you guess. That's so he can deny it, and blame it on you. If he does like you and tells you, you are now friends. That's all. You can fantasize all the rest.

If he's always nice to you, and always comes up to you to talk to you; that's all the proof you need to know. He likes you. Just act natural, that's what he likes about you.

We've never met you or the boy. How can we tell you how to act around him, or how do you know he cares how you act?

You will find just being yourself is the best thing you can do.

That's because:

1. The reason you like him is because he's being himself.

2. You want people to like the real you, not the fake one.

3. You won't have time to think to follow a lot of instructions.

You are too young to be given dating advice. You wouldn't understand anything about it at your age. You say there are all these couples at your school, when they aren't really couples; they are boys and girls who became friends. At 10-11, you don't have a clue what romance is. You know what the word means, but you wouldn't understand what to do with it. Your mind and body aren't developed enough to handle it.

Be nice to the boy, and be yourself. That's enough. If he's not nice to you, then he doesn't like you; so leave him alone and go make other friends.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (14 March 2022):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI'm going to take the other Tack. I'm going to assume you are 10 - 11. There is a phenomenon that starts at that age and runs to about 13. We could call it he cootie / cutie dichotomy. In the beginning the girls start thinking the boys are Cuties, but the boys still think the girls have cooties. at some time around 12 - 13 the boys realize that ooo, she's a cutie. So in your whole school there are maybe 5 guys your age who have made that leap early.

The competition is intense. So intense that girls your age often start courting 13 year old boys. Honestly this is a mistake, that I am glad you haven't considered.

As for your Crush, well it is a Crush (an infatuation) and it will fade away in about 3 weeks. There will be more. Maybe you will crush on a guy still in the cootie stage, and he will hurt your feelings with a rude remark. Maybe you will crush on a cutie guy and he will be available. But in the end they will all quickly fade.

You will gain experience. Hopefully you will learn what you really value in a boyfriend. Then when you both are ready you can grow love in a safe trusting relationship.

That is what I hope for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 March 2022):

Honeypie agony auntI too wonder about your age, OP

Your age group says 18-21 but you talk about 10-11 year olds so which age group are you and which age group is he?

While you sound more like a 10-11 year old, I will answer it to a 18-21 as your profile states.

HE has a GF, so hands-off.

You wouldn't want other girls to go chasing after your BF in the future, right?

And lastly, there is no such thing as love at first sight. There is ATTRACTION at first sight, INFATUATION at first sight or LUST at first sight. THAT isn't love.

Just be yourself. He isn't an alien. He is a guy WHO already has a GF.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2022):

To be honest you sound very childish and immature - not old enough to be with any boy at all. Too gooey eyed and unrealistic, too soppy. You need to grow up first.

Otherwise you will make a lot of mistakes and let him take advantage of you. And you never ever bother with a boy who has a girlfriend ever.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2022):

Can you clarify a couple of things first?

How old are you? (Because your post reads like someone younger than your stated age.)

And how old is the boy you have a crush on? (You make a reference to "age 10 - 11" in your post so I'm hoping it isn't the age of the young man in question.)

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