A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a sophomore at a public university in the US. I live in an on-campus dorm, and I see the people on my floor fairly often. Five weeks ago, our academic year began, though some freshmen came early for a month-early head-start. There is a boy, who I will refer to as D, who participated in that early program and while he does not live in my dorm, he is friends with the people on my floor, just as I am. He is considered "one of us."Anyways, at first D and I would exchange some glances. I noticed he would look for me, and sometimes he'd smile a little at me from afar. Little cute things that made me curious about him. This slowly developed into him talking to me more, and eventually we cuddled one night, and he fell asleep (in a lounge, our friends were all doing the same, but we were paired together). We never talked about that night, and he acted normal after that, still glancing and so on.Now he's become close to a girl in our group, R. She seemed to like him for a while, too, but then seemed to decide he didn't see her that way, so she is not a close friend of his instead. They seem to confide in each other. Lately, D has been becoming rather jumpy around me. I've heard R and D (no joke meant) whispering and saying my name before, and they sometimes text each other in front of me. Sometimes when I show up, R gets up and pretends to have to go do something, and D looks at her with a look of panic.I know enough about guys to know that he probably does like me, and that he's probably just shy/nervous. But I'm starting to feel sort of alienated and confused. It's upsetting having a guy I like avoid me, even if it might be because he likes me. It's harder for me to relax around him and try to get closer to him because he's acting so aloof.Should I just wait, even though it's frustrating? I'm afraid of scaring him off, or making him feel threatened. I'm a shy girl, so I know how hard it is to deal with how you feel about someone else. But I'm not sure what to do about this. I want to be close to him, but it's getting hard to deal with him constantly running away, then staying a bit and talking, being nice and smiling sweetly at me, then suddenly leaving again.What should I do? I was considering talking to R as well and simply asking why D keeps avoiding me. But I'm afraid that she'll tell him and he'll feel like he needs to do something to clear it up and possibly ask me out before he's ready to. Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): You really have two options:
1) keep up this nonsense of not knowing how he feels
2) talk to him
What's the worst that can happen? He doesn't fancy you... then at least you can get over him!
Tbh he sounds a bit wimpy... can't imagine how you two would ever get a sex life :)
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