A
female
age
30-35,
*iffanyRae
writes:I really need help... My 2 year old niece plays with her vaginal area.. She will also take small things and put them inside of her vagina. When I catch her I yell at her and tell her that it is not a good thing to do that. Why is she doing this? Is it a possibility she was molested? How do I make her understand that she can't do things like that?
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female
reader, mom of three +, writes (28 June 2008):
I also have notice my 2 year old behaving the same way.. ( when she's alone or taking a bath she would put her fingers or her toy in between her legs. But once I read this i was alittle less freaked out!. other 2 year olds do this. it weird. So there may be a possibility she's just exploring her body. But i'm still going to talk to our doc about this. thank you. this web site rocks.........
mom of three
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Im glad you feel better hunny TAKE CARE LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, TiffanyRae +, writes (5 April 2008):
TiffanyRae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for putting my concerns at rest! I feel much better now and I will be sure to discuss this with my sister so she will also feel at ease and we can handle this correctly! God Bless You All!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): She's two.
She doesn't know anything at all about sex. All she knows is it tickles when she plays around down there.
So just make sure you keep her occupied and in an area you can see her for the time being. And when she gets older, like 6 or so, then teach her the value of privacy. That way, you won't know if she diddles around or not because you'll never catch her at it because she knows how to be discreet about it.
I mean do you really even eant to know is she does or not? None of us do.
Its the same with swearing. All kids are gonna pick it up. Its a vital tool for surviving school. You gotta know how to cuss that jackhole who is trying to take your lunch money out. Just make sure they know to do it well out of earshot of you or any adults.
You can't punish a kid for something you don't see or hear.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Great article Mandy, dont like the word masterbation when talking about a toddler though so will use exploration.
When I studyed Psychology at an early level, children exploring their bodies was classed as a normal stage of learning. As disturbing as it can be to see a child performing such behaviours, you must be careful not to condition them to feel bad when they do this or frightened of getting caught doing it. Also use this experience to educate the parents on what she is doing but reassure them that it is normal to a certain degree.
I have a 2 year old daughter and on a few occassions I have seen her touching (what I call messing) she has never inserted anything, just messed. It only happens when her nappy is off and she is left unoccupied so I will say 'dont mess in front of me please' and distract her with a toy or tv programme.
If there is ANY reason for concern, dont just assume it is normal behaviour. I would hate for you to miss the oppurtunity to address a potential molestation because on here we have said it is normal to a degree. If you feel that there is any chance that there may be more to this than exploration it really must be discussed with her parents and reported to the police.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Perhaps you are the only one doing her harm when you yell at her for doing something like that. She'll soon be old enough for you to tell her not to do that.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Yep, it's perfectly normal. The article that mandy7 recommended was great advice. Much better than our friends who we vacationed with that declared "She knows the spot" when their toddler started masturbating in the living room! Most children are far more in touch with their sexual nature than we realize, they simply understand instinctually what feels good in their bodies, with pure innocence, without any adult imposed guilt. Hey - Our Own Body, Our Own Rules!!! No matter what age we are!
The most important thing to do is give the child some guidance and direction as far as appropriateness is concerned, without making them think that sexuality is wrong and not a normal part of life (i.e. Not in the living room, in front of company, dear...). You would probably have a LOT more warning signals if her activities had come about through having been abused. Sexual molestation is an act of violence and bullying, not a sexual act, and I suspect that if she were a victim of this, she would be "acting out" in other areas of her life as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Hi Hunny
This is more natural than many people think love, Although I would be worried at the putting of certain objects as that could cause harm so just to be on the safe side love a doctors ap could be a good idea to help you understand and how to cope with it, Ive got a link for you to read which may pop your mind at rest a little more hunny..
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/4987/dealing_with_toddlers_and_genital_touching.html
If you want a chat message me anytime love TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 I think yelling at her is not such a good idea. I assume she's out of nappies (diapers). If you're that concerned ask her mother. Let her decide.
It's quite common for toddlers around that age to play with themselves.
My nieces and my daughter used to do it, they're very inquisitive even at that age. But like I said, if you are overly concerned and feel that something just doesn't seem right, then seek advice from a GP or a child councellor and see what they suggest.
Good Luck.
BigSis xXx
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A
female
reader, Cindy303 +, writes (4 April 2008):
 What you are suggesting here is very very serious. I work in the medical field and used to work only in Peds for a good portion of that time. We sadly did see several patients who were molested. Children are curious about alot of things with their body. They learn that touching certain areas feels good to them and sometimes they just spend that time exploring. Her doctor can check her to see if something has happened to her. I would suggest that first if your very concerned something has happened. If it turns out nothing has happened, then just talking to her about when its okay t dont touch herself and when its not okay. You dont want to yell at her. If she is learning about her body she should not be made to feel that whats she is doing is wrong. She should not be putting things inside her and just letting her know that can be dangerous is so hard for a little one to understand. Have you talked to her parents about this?
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