A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is in the army, he has just returned from Iraq. Im finding our relationship stressful. I love him so much, but cant help thinking he's cheating. All my friends have warned me about dating a squaddie. He admitted to kissing a girl at the weekend, only after i found a text on his mobile and called the girl to find out what had happened. He blames it on being drunk and says it wont happen again, but i really dont know what to think...How can i stay with him if he cant be honest with me?
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I'm sorry to sound harsh but I think the honest answer is that you can't purely because you will always have to deal with that nagging voice. I could, for example, understand him wanting to conceal aspects of his job from you given what it is but his failure to be honest over this kissing incident isn't exactly a good sign.
You need to decide if he is worth being given the chance to rebuild your trust in him. I guess the answer to this questions partically depends on how long you have been together too. If this is a long-term thing then you might be more inclined to give him that chance.
I think if you are going to go down that route you do need to make it clear to him that the burden of proof so to speak is now on him since he is the one that has been caught out. Ultimately it's down to you to decide if you can ever trust him again and silence that voice once and for all. Good luck.
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