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How can I sort this whole phone mess out with him?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *alu writes:

hi guys, sorry this is drawn out but I don't think it will make any sence otherwise

A while ago (febuary) me and my closest friends had a massive falling out(i'd rather not go into that though) none of them would talk to me unless it was to threaten me. one of them was a guy a fancy, *matt. he wouldn't talk to me either. i got a new phone and didn't transfer their numbers and Matt text me asking if i wanted to go round his to talk things out and he doesn't hate me, but because i changed my phone i didn't recognise the number and thought it was my old friends playing a joke to make an idiot out of me. so i said no. i later asked Matt in person if he knew the number and he said no.

then about a month ago i got a couple of explicit texts from the same number. the first one was him saying he fancied me and saying stuff like he followed me home. the second one scared me senseless. it was eventually sorted out and a lot of it was a big misunderstanding and him getting too drunk. we were both willing to leave it as water under the bridge but his mum has said that i'm not to have anything to do with him as i cause trouble.

i now feel guilty because we were both on a high horse and refused to get off for each other. part of me hates him, a part of me still fancies him but mainly i just want to be able to talk to him without either of us being really awkward.

i want to thank him for the first texts as they were really sweet of him but i don't know if i should. any advice?

thanks halu xx

View related questions: drunk, text

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A female reader, halu United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2009):

halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question

halu agony auntthanks and i know it was him that sent the texts because the police were involved and he's intelligent enough not to take the blame for people he hardly hangs out with(he only started hanging round them coz i asked him if he would) that and he had to give an apology and he meant it.

thanks for the advice all the same i'll see what i can do about it(i've only just learnt my current number i've had it for about 3 years LOL)

yeah friends aren't my strong point tbh i dont know why i bother with them but there you go it's all a learning curve

anyway thanks again :)

halu xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

You seem to have had a rough time with your friends. Mobiles are great but they can cause a lot of trouble too! Often girls will look thru a mates phone, sometimes even text off their friends mobiles too, so have you thought that this might have happened with some of the messages you think you got from him? You say there have been alot of misunderstandings and half of you hates this guy, you also say his mum doesnt want you near him anymore and things in a message from him really scared you! So why bother with it all? Just change your number again but be careful who you give it out to. Dont give it to him again as others in your old circle of shared friends may be using it too contact you because they think its funny. Go figure! Also, if it was him texting, you may get more frightening texts when hes drinking, which could lead to more trouble. Just walk away from it all and concentrate on building new friendships. Change your number and when you see him around you can always thank him for any kind messages he may have sent you in the past. Good luck

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