A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy and we dated for about a month. Everything was going great, until we almost had sex. I want to wait until I am married before going all the way. After that happened he started acting weird. I think that he got scared, because I really like him too. He would tell me lies like that he wasn't allowed to see me anymore and that he didn't feel a spark between us. When I tried to talk to him about it and he got defensive and said he wanted space. All He he would tell me was that something happened in his past that screwed him up. When he told me this he looked very upset and I knew he was telling the truth. He won't trust anyone and he never talks about his past. I am good friends with his roommate and she told me that he was engaged before and that his girlfriend just left him for no reason. I want him to be able to trust me, but don't know what to do. I am very good friends with his roommate, so I see him a lot and it is hard. I know he likes me because of the way he acts and I will catch him watching me sometimes. His roommate told me that the best thing to do right now would be give him some space and wait for him to come to me. I am just scared that he won't come. He also went out of town for a week and I am scared that he will decide to move back home and it will be my fault. So what can I do to show this guy that he can trust me and still give him the space he needs? Is it best to try to move on and find someone new, or to stick around and show this guy that I won't leave him and that he can trust me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): Vow this is a very difficult one; I can understand that you are confused; yes you like him; yes things were going well;
BUT
I do believe that you deep in your heart and in your mind knows what is the best in this situation;
HOWEVER
I am going to give you my opinion and my suggestion to try and assit you to get perspective;
Firtsly, I want to congratulate you for not having sex with the guy;
If you did, he might probably still be around; BUT it would have been for the wrong reason;
Secondly, this guy is telling you lies; HONESTY is very important in a relationship; if he cannot be honest with you, how will you be able to TRUST him?
You mentioned that when you tried to discuss some of the problems or issues with him he got defensive and said he needs space;
Well I suggest you give him all that SPACE; and MORE; I think this guy realized he was not going to be able to lie himslef out of things and that his lies will catch up; I have serious DOUBTS about this guys TRUE INTENTIONS;
I suggest you don't waste time waiting for him; MOVE ON;
this guy was going to use you;
Don't waste to much time and energy on this guy; don't allow yourself to get more emotionally involved; WALK AWAY from him now; in time it will just HURT more;
You DESERVE somebody loving and caring; somebody that will be honest and open with you; somebody that will value and respect you; Mutual TRUST is so important in a relationship.
You don't have to PROOF anything to this guy; be true to yourself;
The right guy is out there waiting for you;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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