A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year things havent really gone well, my dad died and we have had some problems. mainly because of me being very depressed and moody. he was going to leave but we decided to try again. how can i show him how much he means to me and not go over the top? also how do i get him to open up to me?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Well you dont mention what sort of problems you have had together but providing you have both been faithfull and still love each other then I'm sure things will get better.Christmas is the perfect time to enjoy spending time together, do some daft festive things together like watching cheesy xmas films or going out and buying baubles for your xmas trees, it will make you both forget all the bad things that have happened and enjoy each other's company.I cant imagine how hard you are finding it after your dad has passed away, if it is seriously affecting your emotions and relationships then it might be time to see a councillor who could help you talk about how you are feeling. It is a scary thing going to see a therapist but believe me it will help you more than you can imagine. Your doctor will be able to put you in touch with some local services (all free!). This will really help your relationship as eventually you will be a happier person.Maybe over the festive period sit down with your boyfriend and have a good talk about everything that you are feeling, make it like 2009 will be a fresh start for you both. If you open up to him its more likely that in time he will be able to open up to you. But dont push him, so many men out there just cant talk about how they feel and you might just have to accept that is the way he is.Dont try and shower him with gifts and dont tell him all day that you love him, it will only scare him off. Try not to text him all the time too, you sound scared of losing him but if he wants to give things another go then thats a good sign.You dont need grand gestures, just little thoughtful things that only you would be able to do. Think about all his favourite things and see what you can do with that... maybe if there is something he loves but you dont really enjoy doing, then do it as a one off and that should put a smile on his face! I'll give you an example, my boyfriend loves fixing cars and all things like that, whereas it bores me to death. But every tuesday I sit with him and watch a programme about buying a complete wreck of a car and then doing it up. Its an hour of torture for me but he likes it that I watch it with him!Good luck!
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Some men arent very good in communicating or understanding how a female mind works. If youve just recently lost your dad and have been a bit moody, that is so understandable. Have you a close female adult you can talk to, to get some of your feelings out. Some people can't deal with death or grief and don't know what to say to someone who has lost a dear one. Maybe your boyfriend is struggling with this. You need a lot more time to come to terms with the loss of your dad and it will have an impact on this relationship. You could maybe explain your feelings to him and let him know that you are glad he is there for you because that makes all the difference. At least by saying this to him he will maybe feel that he is helping in deeds if not words. I'm sorry for your loss and all I can say is in time this will get better for you. hope this helps.
...............................
|
