A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi , Ive just got myself a new boyfriend weve been together a month . hes really nice but he hasnt had the best of times over the last year or so before we got together . He had cancer 5 years ago and beat it ( had to leave the army which he lived for ) but it came back last year and everything fell apart for him, hes now in remission but at his low point he lost his job lost alot of friends and is very low and depressed hes saying hes not the best catch and why would i want to be with him (his words ' someone whos dying ) fair enough he could have the cancer in him but hes still very much alive and i want him to see he is worth something and that he isnt cancer hes a man who deserves to be happy and enjoy life ,any words of advice will be grateful thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 It sounds like he is giving up on life. It is hard to battle cancer twice, and no wonder he is feeling down in the dumps. The only thing you can do is reassure him that you want to be with him. If he is having a bad day in the house, take him out and do something fun together. Distract him from his thoughts. He may need to see a doctor about getting referred to a support group.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 April 2016):
 My family has many cancer survivor stories and about an equal number of cancer winning out in the end, after a really nasty battle. So I’m not a big fan of cancer. Ha.
He beat the cancer you said, five years ago, but now it’s back which has sent him into a tailspin.
I’m sorry he lost his job and many of his friends.
I think if this man is your age, the likelihood is that he hasn’t actually lost friends. The thing is that they just don’t know what do say or do. It’s a very helpless and hopeless feeling, to have cancer and no clear playbook.
I would look into caregiving support groups. They keep it real and will have some awesome advice. You may not have every single thing in common with them but an emotional boost from a serious and dedicated cancer fighter? AWE. SOME.
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