A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and I wondering where is our relationship is at right now. We have been fighting for awhile and we sometimes said thing to each other that we either mean or don't mean.today he ask me if he want me to see his penis and when I said sure I was sleepy and I went to sleep on him. he got mad and its like any time that we are about to get sexually over the phone I tend to pull back and I get quiet and shy and I wonder why.I don't want to loose him and I love him but I how can I set some bountaries for him without him being mad????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): Hi there, well I feel that you're on the fence. You kinda wanna do it and kinda don't. It's alright. Take your time and think this thoroughly. It's important to do so especially at 16. Believe me, I've been through it. I thought about it for awhile and well when I felt ready, then I talked to my boyfriend. Usually boys are like this at this age... So it's up to you now. Just make sure that you can trust this boy and make sure you're ready. Don't do it cuz you feel like you have to. Good luck anyways.
A
female
reader, peteloevely  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 Hi darling i understand you have your right not to want to be sexually active no one should have a say in your sex life but you.but he seems ready, essentially what is happening here is, your fear of losing him is keeping you anxious and it is creating unnecessary stress, you tell him you are ready then pull back and he stays feeling rejected and frustrated. is this necessary? i think NOT.i beg you to rethink whether you really need this in your life, you are putting yourself in a situation that you should NOT be forcing yourself to make decisions you should not be making at this age. talking your self in to do something you do not want to do.sex is part of been in a relationship, which you are not interested in, nor was i at 16/17 to be honest with you so i completely understand you.so, since you are already very good friends you can always stay friends, i am sure he likes you too or he would have not been dating you this long.so talk to him with honesty, not with the fear of losing him, do not lie about how you feel and you should both be able to decide what to do from there.good luck stay blessed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): HiYou don't sound at all ready for this sort of interaction. That's why you zoned out that time. My guess is you go quiet because you don't want this yet, but you don't know how to say so.The only thing you can do here, is to say to him, 'I'm not ready'. That's all you need to say, plain and simple. Unfortunately, you won't be able to control his reaction. If he gets angry, well he's not understanding or caring about you, is he? So why would you want to indulge in this sexual behaviour if that is the case? You are still young, but you need to find the confidence and strength to believe in YOU and what YOU want and then stand by it.If he gets angry, best you know what sort of a person he is, isn't it?Well done in reaching out for help and not just going along with something you're not comfortable with. (For the record, neither would I be!) Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 He is talking from the little head down there. He won't be angry because you say not to him, but because you said yes then fell asleep. It made him feel like you were disinterested and bored with his penis.
When I was 16, I had no interest in seeing a penis. Your boyfriend wanted you to see it then go ahead and masturbate. Once you introduce this, you would be doing more stuff that leads to full on sex.
I think most states allow sex at 16 provided that your partner is not 5 years older than you. I am not sure but you have to check. You either choose to have sex with him or stay abstinent. Don't start something you can't finish. When you look at a penis it's not as simple as just looking at it. He would expect you to get horny, like a green light to have sex. You don't sound ready for it. He has to accept that at your age your horniness hasn't kicked in yet. It has nothing to do with love but your body. If he really loves you he will try to understand that you did not mean to tease him. You are a girlfriend, not an object to wank at.
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