A
male
age
18-21,
reason1l1ve04
writes:my girlfriend of almost 2 years moved away to NJ for college. We used to spend every hour of everyday with each other especially the summer before she left. We were very affectionate. Now the weekends she comes home she shows no interest, i talked to her about how it makes me feel uncared for, she says she still loves me but isn't feeling affectionate. It feels awkward now when i want to kiss her or show affection what should i do? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, poppycorn  +, writes (15 October 2007):
I no when im not affectionate with my bf its usually because im upset. she may feel weird being back home with you and maybe doesnt want to get to close because she knows she's going to have to leave you again after a few days.She's probably finding it hard to. Alsp since my bf moved away i feel as tho we're back in the first 6 months of our relationship (weve been together for 3 years) and therefor i feel really shy n awkward with him i dont no whether this applies here but it may have something to do with it.
The best thing is to talk, you will never know whats going on in her mind if you dont tlk, bt let her talk, let her tell you how she feels
A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (6 October 2007):
 Not so fast, sometimes women feel down with their emotions, even when we are feeling loved, we sometimes feel unworthy of love and need some time to go back the other way to our loving selves...it could mean only just what she said, she is not feeling affectionate....college is stressful, give her some time to adjust.
That said, it is hard to keep a relationship going long distance, especially when you are experiencing different things like college...it may be a case of bad timing...College is a time when she is going to do a lot of experimenting and learning about herself and relationships, both male and female, and I think you need to understand this is probably not going to be a permanent relationship for you or for her....sorry if that seems harsh.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (6 October 2007):
 I agree with Tommy.
Tell her that her lack of affection makes you uncomfortable with her. If she does not offer a way for the two of you to work through it, she may truly be trying to let you down easy. If she says that she's stressed with school, etc, to try to be patient with her, that could be all that it is and you two are going through growing pains.
That said, be ready to walk away. Relationships take effort on both sides and if you're feeling uncared for, it would wound you to stick around if she dismisses your feelings.
This is not about pride. It's about both sides getting what they want and need from the relationship.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (6 October 2007):
 I have to agree with Tommy. She's lost interest, for one reason or another. She's moved on emotionally, and your best bet is to follow suit.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (6 October 2007):
Realize she doesn't feel like you do. She's trying to let you down gently. Time to move on.
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